Shouldn’t they be orange?
When I was a kid, the holiday season was so magical. I’m only giving a brief nod to Halloween because, in my world, it’s not a part of the holiday season. I lived in a wonderfully big neighborhood. We lived in the “old part”. I don’t really know the history of our neighborhood, but I think what I do know is a couple of guys developed it in the late 50’s. In the 60’s (I think…you know how time has a way of playing tricks), people began to build in the “new part”. Several families relocated about a half a mile west, building brick ranches and a couple of multi-level homes. What does that have to do with Halloween? Nothing much except to say it increased our yearly take in candy! We didn’t stress about what to wear. We didn’t work for weeks on end to create the perfect costume. Many times, we just took an old dress-like thing my mom had made and put stuff with it and called it a costume. We had those hard plastic masks with the eyes cut out and little pinholes for the nose and mouth so we wouldn’t suffocate! And, yes! We did carry pillowcases on occasion! I seem to remember making Mom mad because we cut holes in a sheet for a ghost costume…but I could have just dreamed that!
Thanksgiving morning
For some reason, I don’t think we celebrated Thanksgiving with my dad’s family. Is that the way it is with most families? You tend to celebrate the holidays with the mom’s side of the family? It seems like that’s what we did. Grandpa and Grandma Luderman (you know, the ones with the huge garden) hosted Thanksgiving (they’d laugh to call it hosting). If I am recalling correctly (and I might not be), Mom would head to Grandpa and Grandma’s earlier than the rest of us. Sometimes, I would go with her. She and Grandma would finish up all of the goodies soon to be pounced upon by the rest of us.
Prepping
Grandma was a horrible cook…there, I said it! Honestly, what she did to meat was just downright wrong! Grandpa had had a heart attack, and Grandma decided salt was the culprit. She didn’t salt a thing, and it showed! Mom, on the other hand, could cook like nobody’s business! She could take a roast and make it do everything but dance the Tarantella! Maybe, that’s why she went earlier (slap upside the head, Marsha!)! My Aunt Lou, Mom’s oldest sister, may have been an even better cook than Mom! She was famous for her macaroni salad and potato salad as well as desserts.
The Meal
Eventually, all of the families (sometimes, my grandpa’s sister and her family would come) would show up. We sat all around that little house, at tables, on the couch with TV trays, and probably on the floor. At no time, did anyone ever mention giving thanks for anything. Prayers were not said in my no PDA (public displays of affection) family. All I knew was Thanksgiving was a time to eat turkey, dressing, and Aunt Lou’s cherry delight! My Aunt Dorothy was of the same ilk as Grandma…couldn’t cook to save herself. She usually brought some kind of Jello concoction that would have been better off remaining in the box!
The Aftermath
After everyone finished eating, the parceling out of food began. I don’t remember what everyone used before Cool Whip! My aunts and one particular cousin would show up with grocery sacks full of Cool Whip containers to take home the leftovers. Once that chore was done, clean up began! Aunt Dorothy would disappear into the bedroom for a nap…she was “nervous”. We washed and dried dishes forever or so it seemed. Funny, but I don’t know what the men got up to. I don’t think they watched much football. One of my uncles never came, and the other would go hunting. Dad didn’t like college football. Maybe, they just sat around and said, “Ayup” a lot? All I know is I was in the kitchen fuming and fostering my women’s liberation bent.
The Beginning of the End
One of my uncles died in 1970. My dad passed in 1974. Grandpa and Grandma sold the mini farm and moved into a mobile home on Aunt Dorothy’s land some time after that. Mom began to host Thanksgiving at our house. Most of the traditions continued except Mom did most of the cooking. My oldest sister and I would help. Grandma would come with Aunt Dorothy. Aunt Lou would arrive with that grocery bag full of containers and lots of goodies. Grandma and Aunt Dorothy had discovered the lure of green bean casserole. But, given Grandma’s cooking abilities, they found a way to make it absolutely awful! They just dumped everything into a crockpot and called it a day! And, I still had to help with the cleanup!
The Middle of the End
My oldest sister got married in 1974 (she was the only one of us to have Dad walk her down the aisle). I married in 1976. My youngest sister married in 1985. My brother got married some time after that. With the exception of my brother, we all had kids. And, Mom continued to host Thanksgiving. Now, it’s time for that all important question! Are you team dressing or team stuffing? At our house, it was dressing all the way, baby! I’m not sure, if in most homes, stuffing and dressing are one and the same. At our house, they were definitely different! Dressing was made from stale bread, turkey meat and broth, and aromatics (not that Mom would have called them that). You baked it in a dish, and it was scrumptious! The thing with dressing is you need stale bread. Mom would buy several loaves of the cheapest white bread she could find and tear it into pieces. She would lay it out on newspaper in a back bedroom. At some point, she decided I should be the one to take care of the bread. For the first few years, she made the dressing. But, then she decided I could do that. Thanksgiving carried on much the same for many years.
The End
In 1996, Mom was diagnosed with squamous cell lung cancer. She underwent radiation, beat the cancer, and went into remission. Her many years of heavy smoking, though, took their toll. Mom suffered (and it is truly suffering) from COPD (Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease). We began having Thanksgiving at the local Senior Citizens Center. Everybody still brought the same stuff, but Mom didn’t have to worry about washing dishes or cleaning her house (Mom was such a stickler for what a clean house was). We ate off of paper plates and used plastic utensils. In a few years, we had four generations of kids celebrating the holiday, bringing their grocery bags of containers, and trying to choke down a forkful of those awful green beans! Everyone had their own specialty…mine was broccoli salad.
Mom passed in 2004; Grandma followed in 2005. Those of us who were left tried to continue the tradition. We went to my oldest sister’s home. But, life happens as well as its inevitable cohort. Aunt Lou was gone in 2014, and Aunt Dorothy died the next year. In 2015, we moved to the Indianapolis area, about three hours from “home”. All of our kids and their families were in the Indianapolis area. For the first couple of years, we tried hard to continue the tradition of getting together. The logistics of taking dishes and people to my sister’s home was just too hard. These days, my brother and oldest sister (and their families) get together. My youngest sister chose, years ago, to not attend. My kids come over to our house. We have learned to create new traditions. But, holiday blues are real, my friends. What I wouldn’t give to have to force down some of Grandma’s dry turkey or pretend to be interested in news of a distant cousin, to choke down a piece of pumpkin pie or Jello salad. What I wouldn’t give to not give thanks for my family…
There is a reason we create traditions. They ground us. Traditions feed this very real need we have to forge connections with each other. Traditions, new and old, bind us into loving, caring groups of families…biological and created. These traditions, passed down from one generation to the next, provide the catalyst for conversations. They also connect the past to the future. These traditions may even lead us to finally saying the words, “Thank you.”
The Lewk
I actually wore this shopping the other day. A sales associate stopped me to remark on pairing leopard with the plum! She said she’d never thought of putting them together and she really liked it! I was a bit surprised because I think it’s a gorgeous combination! Everything here is old. The jersey a-line dress is Old Navy. Luckily, I’ve bought several of these over the years as they seem to have discontinued them this year. These dresses are fantastic! They wear like iron, wash wonderfully, and are very forgiving. Why Old Navy discontinued them I have no idea! The cardigan is another Garnet Hill merino cardigan purchased while I was still teaching! These booties are going into their fourth year and look as new as the day I bought them. They are the reason I started buying L’Artiste shoes! I love all of the details from the colored stitching to the embossed leather to the suede insets! They are stunning if I do say so myself! The necklace and earrings, by John Hardy, were gifts from Nigel several years ago. The tights are old and are Hue.
Wrap it up, Marsha!
I will always miss Thanksgiving with my small, extended family. We may not have ever had a prayer of thanksgiving uttered; we may not have ever even said, “I’m glad you’re here.” We had each other…and, that was enough. What family traditions do you still celebrate at Thanksgiving? Have you had to create new traditions? What’s your favorite Thanksgiving memory? And, are you team dressing or team stuffing? Please leave me a comment! Let’s talk turkey! And, if you feel like it, please subscribe to my blog!
So lovely to learn about your family tradition! Love this leopard and plum combo and your cardigan is so beautiful!
xoxo
Lovely
http://www.mynameislovely.com
Thank you so much, Lovely! Leopard and plum just seem a natural to me! Would you believe that cardigan is probably close to 20 years old? They are the best!
Thanks so much for coming by!
Our Thanksgiving traditions have changed a lot; even just from year to year. As my kids have grown and all our family members move around, some spending fall/winter in the south, etc. it’s just easiest to take each holiday as it comes. One tradition we did start a few years ago was to watch the movie Elf sometime after dinner but before bed while eating our dessert and it’s our way to wrap up Thanksgiving and get us in the Christmas spirit since we spend the day after Thanksgiving putting up our tree and decorations.
I love that idea of watching “Elf”. Such a wonderful way to begin the holiday season. I think, this year, I’m going to have the boys lug the totes of Christmas decorations upstairs before they leave…not quite the same as watching a movie and eating dessert! The last few years have been the only ones we’ve had together as a family since the kids got married. We all live within about half an hour of each other. Although, I do miss the extra full house we’d have when they all came “home” on those rare occasions!
Thanks, Joanne, for coming by!
Lovely memories, Marsha! I don’t recall any Thanksgiving holidays from when I was a child. We lived 1,500 miles from all of my grandparents, my dad disliked his own parents, and when the grandparents did come to visit, it was at Christmas. We eventually moved back to Kansas when I was young adult to help care for the grandparents who were getting up in years. And then, because both families were small, (my mom and dad each had only one sibling, and both siblings lived state’s away) we eventually began celebrating both Thanksgiving and Christmas with both sets of grandparents at once. It worked well, because both sets lived in the same town and had known each other for a very long time. They are all gone now, and along with my dad. This year, we are going to my step-daughter’s for the first time, and will be meeting her significant other’s parents.
Michelle
https://mybijoulifeonline.com
My mom’s family lived within ten miles of us. Getting together regularly was not a problem at all. I really liked my dad’s side of the family, but we lost touch after his death. His sisters (my aunts) were so much fun! Larger than life kinds of people!
I hope your Thanksgiving with your step-daughter and her family goes well!
Ack! I forgot to comment on your outfit. It’s lovely! I wouldn’t have thought about plum and leopard together either, but then I have trouble seeing leopard as a neutral. And I share your love L’Artiste shoes. Cool pattern mixing as well!
Michelle
https://mybijoulifeonline.com
Hahaha! No worries…sometimes, I can’t remember to comment on everything I want to so it seems like I just end up blathering on about everything and nothing! I hope you do a blog post about those L’Artiste boots! I can’t wait to see it! It took me a bit to see leopard as a neutral. I don’t always…I think it depends on the scale of the print, too!
Thanks for coming by!
Oh, what a lovely read, Marsha. I so agree with the traditions. For us, it was always my sister-in-law and me taking turns hosting Thanksgiving and we did most of the work! Other SILs would bring a dish, which helped, but somehow the clean-up always fell to the two of us. Like you, we tried to keep it going, but all the “kids’ started their own families and things got complicated. Now, it’s just my husband, my son, and me. So guess who does the cooking and cleaning??!! While my son doesn’t have a significant other right now (he’s 29 and needs to get going! Lol!), I know that even this tradition might change so I’ll enjoy it while I can. My niece who moved to Texas some years ago, is coming to San Clemente for her 20th high school reunion, so this year it will be four of us! Woohoo! I’m going to make way too much food and three pies!! Color me chubby after the holidays! Oh and I LOVE your plum and leopard combo!! You always look adorable, my friend!!
Have a wonderful Thanksgiving, despite the blues.
xx Darlene
Darlene, I’m glad you enjoyed my little visit down memory lane! I was just thinking about how much I missed those old family get togethers, and a blog post was born! It is funny how the same people always disappear when it comes to cleaning up. Mine you, we didn’t have a dishwasher then. My mom always said she’d birthed four of them!
I’m glad your family get together will be 25% bigger this year! You sound like me. I have two pies already (frozen, but still) and I always make Aunt Lou’s cherry delight. I really want to make a pumpkin cake with cream cheese frosting. Why is it I can always come up with desserts? We have narrowed the food down quite a bit from what it was when I was a kid so we don’t have so many leftovers (no one in my family really likes those…except for the desserts).
Thank you so much for the compliments! I always appreciate them from someone who is so very stylish! I hope you enjoy your Thanksgiving, too!
My mom is a traditionalist, while I would rather switch it up. Especially when it comes to the food. I think I’m the same way with food as clothes. I get bored of the same thing over and over.
But the outfit is definitely a home run!!
Thanks for sharing such a fun story Marsha.
XOOX
Jodie
http://www.jtouchofstyle.com
My kids are the ones clamoring for the food…they want the things they remember! A funny story…my sister made some cheesy type potatoes one year. I asked for her recipe. She told me to just google “Aunt Jan’s cheesy potatoes.” I’d been making them for a couple of years. One of my kids asked, in all seriousness, who Aunt Nan was! I still get a giggle out of that one!
I knew you would like the outfit, Jodie, since I mixed prints! I’ve long considered leopard a neutral and don’t even look at it as mixing patterns anymore!
Thanks so much for coming by!
I really enjoyed reading about your Thanksgivings of past! I grew up in France and so Thanksgiving wasn’t a big thing, my parents might have made turkey but I really don’t remember. We then moved to Mexico then finally back to the US but my brothers were then living in different countries so I have never felt like it was a big thing in our family. Once I got married it was a matter of whose year we would hang out for the holiday and of course it involved food. Our house has been where everything seems to be hosted at most years and especially in the past few years so 3 years ago, we started going to the beach and let others take over! They may not like it but it is a relief for me to spend time with my hubby and kids and not feel like it is another occasion where I have to host, clean up and organize everything.
http://www.chezmireillefashiontravelmom.com
Wow! I didn’t know you’d lived in Mexico, too! Some day, you’ve got to tell me the story of your life and how you ended up in the US. And, where do your brothers live now? I’m so nosy! But, I love hearing the little details of people’s lives. Your Thanksgiving is the reverse of mine, it sounds like. You started out small and got larger. It is difficult to be the host if you’re supplying all of the food. Over the years, we have definitely lessened the variety of food and focus on what everyone likes. We have bought a smoked turkey the last couple of years. That has been a game changer! It was the one thing I always worried about.
Do you rent a large place at the beach for everyone? I like the idea of the beach, but I’ve never truly been a beach person. Maybe it’s because I remember beaches from when I was a kid…they were so wide open and not crowded.
Thanks so much for coming by!
I love in the Netherlands so we don’t have thanksgiving. But what a lovely story this was Marsha, and to learn more about your family. I also have copd, due to a hereditary lung disease.
Oh, Nancy, I knew you had a lung disease, but not COPD. I hope the new medications they have now are helping you. I’m glad you enjoyed my stroll down memory lane. Do you celebrate any kind of holiday similar to our Thanksgiving?
Thank you so much, Nancy, for stopping by!
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What a heart-warming and emotional post. Thank you for sharing your history with Thanksgiving. So sorry for your losses but glad you have memories that you hold on too. Just seeing the words Cool Whip gets me thinking of pumpkin pie. Love the mix of prints and colors in this look Marsha!
https://www.kathrineeldridge.com
Thank you, Kathrine! Memories are the things that make us human, right? And, thank you for the compliment on mixing prints…that’s high praise coming from you! I love Cool Whip…but I skip the pumpkin pie!
Thanks for coming by!
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