So Very Tired…

When…

This is not going to be a fashion, DIY, baking, or even gardening post. I had thought I was going to write about something, but I just couldn’t. In the days following the shooting in Nashville, I continued to produce content on Instagram and the blog. But, today, I hit a wall. I realized I was so very tired. And, I realize some of you may disagree with me publishing this post at all. That’s OK. The time, though, has come for some really hard conversations in this country.

When…

In May 2012, I retired. On December 14, 2012, I was at a luncheon for teachers who had retired from the same school. It wasn’t until later that afternoon that I heard about the shootings at Sandy Hook. I remember reading about the shootings and crying for those little lives cut short, the teachers who had shielded their students, and the lives forever changed. I had hopes something would change in this country once people learned about these little ones slaughtered by a gunman.

When…

But, it was not to be. Mass shootings occur with frightening regularity now. As of December 14, 2022, the ten year anniversary of Sandy Hook, 279 students and staff have lost their lives to gun violence. That number does not include the Nashville shootings.

When…

There is a new elementary school being built just down the road from us. I cannot wait to hear the sounds of kids out at recess. But, today, as we drove past it, I wondered about the front doors. They haven’t been installed yet. Would it even matter if they were metal instead of glass like those on Covenant School? There are lots of windows facing the street.

When…

Now, when Nigel asks me if I want to go somewhere, one of the questions in the back of my mind is, “What if?” I don’t want to live my life this way. I don’t want anyone to live their lives this way. I especially don’t want my kids…grands, bonus, and actual…to live their lives this way. With the exception of my bonus son, all of my people work in schools of one kind or another. And, I worry. The odds are this won’t happen in our town. But, I’m sure that’s what parents thought in Nashville, too.

When…

Here’s the thing. I can’t refill my anti-anxiety medicine before it’s due…the systems monitoring that make sure I can’t get too much. I couldn’t even go to WalMart or a local drugstore to refill it before its time because those records, apparently, go across all networks. Wouldn’t that be an easy thing to do with the purchase of guns? The shooter who slaughtered those babies in Nashville bought several guns, including semiautomatic weapons. And, they did it legally. Wouldn’t it be easy to put some kind of system in place where gun shops have to check those kinds of things? If they can do it with my anti-anxiety meds, couldn’t they do it with guns?

When…

I know this blog won’t change a dang thing. I know I might lose some subscribers. I hope not, but I know it could happen. But, after watching video after video of this particular shooting, I just couldn’t do a post about clothes or shoes or jewelry. I am in tears as I write this…tears for the parents who won’t be holding their babies, tears for the families who won’t have their dads, their moms, their aunts, their uncles, tears for the teachers and school staff. I think something needs to change in this country. I don’t know what that is, but I hope it happens soon. I hope it happens before another family, school, or community is forever changed by gun violence.

Wrap it up, Marsha…

This isn’t a post about Second Amendment Rights. It isn’t a post about political positions or parties. It is a post about gun violence. We need to take a long, hard look at why guns like those used in Nashville are available. Honestly, I don’t know much about guns. But, I can’t figure out why anyone would want or need a semiautomatic gun. This is a post about talking about gun violence, and the fact that guns are the number one killer of children in the United States today. That is a frightening, sickening, and awful statistic.

32 Comments

  1. It is really horrible Marsha. It’s almost surreal when I see it on the telly. I wonder if it is the easiness of getting guns, or a lack of mental help for people who are in trouble. Perhaps both? My heart bleeds with you.

    • I think some of it is mental health, but then that gives legislators and lobbyists an out. If the ease of buying a gun didn’t exist, those with mental health issues wouldn’t be able to buy them, right?

      Thanks, Nancy.

    • I agree with you Marsha, I don’t understand why a better system cannot be put in place I know there are ways people can obtain guns illegally and obviously we can’t monitor that but it hits extra hard when they were purchased legally. I also cannot imagine why anyone needs such powerful guns, I’m no gun person but honestly what are they used for? It’s heart wrenching and I do hope something changes. There’s so much to unpack about this whole ordeal. But we have to start somewhere. Thanks for writing this!
      ?Kellyann

      • Thanks, Kellyann. It seems like a starting point, right? Just enter in the information in some kind of nationwide database. But, that scares the folks advocating gun rights. I don’t know why it would. It just blows my mind that I can’t get too much medication because Walgreens knows what I’ve bought, WalMart knows what I’ve bought, my online pharmacy knows what I’ve bought. So, the technology exists. Granted it won’t solve all the problems, but it’s a start!

  2. In my country we always look a bit confused at the laws about guns in the States. Here you have to do a lot to be able to buy a gun. And you certainly can’t walk around with one. In my country we had 1 shooting like that. I really really don’t understand why it is not possible to change those laws. I understand completely your feelings about it. Big hug!

    • Thanks, Mie. I don’t understand it, either. Laws need to be written and some need to be changed. It’s just wrong

  3. I am with you 100 perfect my friend! It is so sad and disturbing and something needs to be done. Thank you for speaking out and sharing your feelings. It’s important that we all do this if we want change. Sending prayers of peace and love to you.

    https://www.kathrineeldridge.com

  4. Marsha, I am with you 100%. Do you remember the first Virginia shooting. A young man named Ryan Clark died in that shooting. I remember Ryan from elementary school. I worked with his mother. He was a bright student. He always had beautiful smile on his face and a happy hello for everyone he met. Polite, eager to learn, eager to help. He was helping a young woman in his dorm when the shooter killed him. All those bright shiny faces, filled with the promise of potential for the future, all taken from us too soon. How can we continue to let this continue. Don’t say your heart and prayers are with the families and communities that are in mourning if you aren’t willing to change laws to make it more difficult to happen again.

    • Oh, Eileen! My heart breaks for you. I remember that day so well. Your words are so true…”filled with the promise of potential for the future…” Thoughts and prayers has become such a throwaway phrase. Do something! But, all they can do is talk around and around the subject, too scared to lose their PAC money and the votes of their constituencies. Meanwhile, more futures are lost to us.

      I am so very sorry you lived through that day and those that followed. I hope his mother has found some comfort in her memories as well as those of others.

      • Marsha, Ryan’s mother has created a fund to help poor students and they have a big event each year in honor of Ryan. I know she misses her son very much, but she has not let it make her bitter. She is keeping alive by all the good his fund does for other children. She is an inspiration to us all.

        • That is truly amazing, Eileen. She has an amazing heart, and I’m glad he has this legacy. Thank you so much for sharing this with me.

  5. Thank you so much for writing this post! I don’t understand America’s obsession with guns. Many will disagree with me, but it is an obsession. Just like our obsession with no one taking away our freedoms!!! But when guns are the number one killer of children … you can’t describe gun ownership any other way. Enough about freedom and rights.

    Whenever I’m out in public (grocery store, post office, work place, library, doctor’s office, etc.), I look for my escape route in case of a shooter. If I don’t see a quick escape, I look for a place to hide. This is not a normal way to live.

    • Thanks, Beth. I agree 100%. When your “right” to own a gun outweighs my right to be alive, there is a problem. I’d like the freedom to not have to worry about going to the grocery store. And, then there are theaters! I almost have panic attacks when we go. Interestingly, when we went to the art museum, my bag was thoroughly searched…they even opened my wallet and scanned through it. I don’t have a problem with that, but I find it sad we’ve gotten to this point in this country.

  6. I 100% agree– in fact my youngest son and I have been talking about this a lot. After hearing the Australian comedian Jeff Jeffries talk about gun control we’ve had lots of talks about why we don’t institute stronger gun control laws here in the United States, what we think our founding father’s meant by the “right to bear arms”, etc. My youngest son feels so strongly about gun control laws that he has been talking rather seriously about moving out of the U.S. Jeffries approaches a very serious issue in a funny, and thought provoking way (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cECZQ7rJ8CM); he brings up some really great points too! I’m not saying we should take away and ban all guns but I definitely think we need stricter laws and things in place (though I know not all guns are bought or even registered or necessarily legal).

    • I will definitely watch the video, Joanne. Thanks for sharing it. You know, last night, I was lying in bed and trying to think of where I could move. I always taught my students this was the greatest country in the world, but now, I’m not so sure. And, I do not, for one minute, believe the gun laws we have now are what the Founding Fathers intended. Their world was different from ours, but no one wants to see that. I really, really dislike it when people throw that little tidbit in there…that some guns are not bought legally. The point is, the shooter in Nashville bought their guns legally!

  7. I applaud this post, Marsha. I think the same things that you do, but I have become numb. I am on overload and can’t process any more grief at the moment. I have this vague sickness at what money from the gun lobby and unethical politicians have allowed this country to become. Some countries have a “Do not travel” warning for the U.S. because of this insanity. I don’t blame them.

    Michelle
    https://funkyfashionstyle.com

    • Michelle, I am numb, too. But, I watched so many videos about this, and they just broke me. I know, in the grand scheme of things, one post on a blog like mine isn’t going to change things. But, it’s a start. We have to do something because it’s pretty obvious the politicians aren’t going to do anything. I did know that about other countries. SMH…

  8. Oh Marsha it happens again and again and again. In June of last year I wrote (on My Other Blog) about the killings in Uvalde, Texas of 19 primary school children and 2 adults. One shudders every time but then what happens? Not much. . I could go into what is the usual response from outsiders like me, and say we don’t understand and why, why, why, and then cite the fact that in the UK we have had just one school shooting and immediately afterwards banned certain guns. But I have tried to understand and I think guns will never be banned in your country ever, it’s in your national DNA to have that right, but legislation could bring about more checks and balances and ban those awful powerful semi-automatic guns..

    Sending big hugs to you Marsha. It was so good of you to post this because there needs to be debate and discussion. Yes, bring it up again and again, Marsha because otherwise…

    xxx

    • Thanks, Penny. I just could not bring myself to write a fashion piece after watching a dad guiding kids across a busy street. Or, the video of another mom consoling others. They are so heartbreaking. I was not brought up around guns so I honestly don’t understand the attraction. And, I sincerely do not believe the Founding Fathers had this in mind when they attached the Second Amendment to the Constitution. I am just so sad and tired. Like I said in my post, if there is a way to track the purchase of anti-anxiety meds across several networks, there surely is a way to track gun purchases. That could be a start.

  9. Your comparison to how we regulate medications really resonated with me. I have to have a prescription for over-the-counter Sudafed because the law will not allow me to buy enough to take it every day following the instructions on the box. We are more restrictive with allergy medication than we are with guns. It doesn’t make any sense.

    • You are so right. I quit taking an allergy med because it just wasn’t worth the wait at the pharmacy. This was for a decongestant which, I gather, is a key ingredient in making meth. We can make as much noise as possible and hope something changes soon.

  10. I agree with Sally. Some “rules” don’t make any sense and it’s obvious some things are working in our country.
    XOOX
    Jodie

  11. 100% agree Marsha. I remember the lock down drills when from when I worked in the school, and how some of the kids were afraid and it broke my heart. I hate that one reason I homeschool Wyatt is because of school shootings – he can’t run and hide on his own, and that terrifies me. He also probably wouldn’t be good at being quiet. I worry about my nieces everyday. I don’t understand this country and why we protect these type of guns?

    • Erin, when I was teaching fourth grade and we had to practice those drills, one of my students looked at me and asked, “What about the windows, Mrs. Banks?” I didn’t have an answer then, and I sure don’t have one now. I have a feeling new schools will begin to look more like prisons than schools as they consider entry points. That’s an easier fix than legislating gun control, right?

  12. It’s a horrible thing and makes me fear for my children everyday. Our country needs to make some changes and soon.

  13. You have spoken many of my very own thoughts in this post, Marsha. Every day I feel a sense of fear and sadness about the state of things and every day I have to smile and send my children off to school with all of this craziness lingering in the back of my mind. I suppose all we can do sometimes is focus all of our positive energy on bringing more goodness and light into the world.

    Shelbee

    • Thanks, Shelbee. I just don’t understand how the right to own a gun far outweighs the right of a person to be alive. I think gun regulation would help, but, in the long run, there needs to be something else. I don’t know what that is, though. I try to be positive, but sometimes, you just have to let it all out.

  14. I couldn’t agree more, Marsha. We’ve never understood why guns are so readily available in the States. Personally, I don’t think we should have the ‘right to bear arms’…look what happens. It makes me so very sad every time something like this happens.
    Big hugs, my friend
    Suzy xx

    • Thanks, Suzy. It’s ridiculous. Obviously, I don’t agree with the right to bear arms. As I’m writing this, there’s been another shooting with multiple deaths just a few hours south of us. But, it’s not the guns killing people, right? SMDH!