He’s gonna be surprised…
I don’t know that I’ve ever shared that I have three kiddos…a boy, a girl, and a boy. There was a brief moment in time when I had three kids three and under! And, then the oldest had a birthday so I had three under the age of four! Nigel and I talk with all of them quite frequently. My youngest, though, is the one who is guaranteed to check in daily. Some days, we have long, long conversations. Today (or rather yesterday) was one of those days. And, though he doesn’t subscribe (why not), I know he often peeks at the blog!
Complaints get you…
Nowhere! At least, they get me nowhere! My kids will listen to me complain for about as long as it takes them to blink! Anyway…today, I was kinda complaining, but more like whining to my youngest about my blog. I told him I’d had many people subscribe and then unsubscribe, and it hurt my feelings and my pride. I whined some more about how I wasn’t a big star in the blogosphere (hahaha). Then, I complained even more about Instagram and how it’s the platform retailers seem to like best. He kindly reminded me it was probably more TikTok than Insta that retailers were into now. He had an answer for everything!
Zero in on it…
Then, he asked me the most important question: Why are you blogging, Mom, if it bothers you so much? Whoa! That stopped me for a little minute. Why am I blogging? So, here’s the answer. I blog because I like it. I like creating “content” for you and for me if I’m honest. I blog because it gives me goals to accomplish. I blog because I believe in neuroplasticity. If we don’t use our brains, they can stagnate. Blogging has honestly forced me to use my brain and learn things! And, I blog because it connects me with people all around the world.
Even more…
I’ve been retired for almost 11 years now. Life is easy for me; I’m not going to lie about that. But, retirement can set you on a course of doing absolutely nothing with your life if you let it. And, I was letting it. When I first retired, I relished sleeping in, doing nothing with my day, going shopping by myself. Then, Nigel retired, and life became about what the two of us did. The first thing we did was remodel our downstairs! We turned a long ugly full bathroom, a walk in closet, and a funky “dressing room” into a powder room, a walk in closet, a tiled walk in shower, and a vanity room. We did that! The only thing we didn’t do was some plumbing because a certain someone forgot her math. For the record, 60 inches is not six feet!
A little more…
Then, about eight years ago, we moved to be closer to our kids so I only enjoyed that bathroom for a couple of years. I have regretted that move with almost every molecule in my body. I say almost because we are physically closer to our kids. One of the best things to come out of this move has been the relationship between my youngest son and Nigel. They are two peas in a pod and have always had this bit of a clash going on. Nigel is very detail oriented and likes things nice and neat. The youngest? Not so much! Now, though, they’ve put that aside and are closer than they’ve ever been. When Covid hit, all three kids made sure we had what we needed and demanded we stay home. I think that’s when the daily conversations with my youngest began. He would check in to make sure we’d stayed home and were healthy. And, then we began to really talk. The conversations varied from politics to religion to books to movies. He shared his day and asked about ours. Now, we still talk about politics (as little as possible), religion, books, movies, and our days. It’s a good thing as a certain lifestyle maven would say.
My outfit…
I actually had a set of photos done for today. But, when I looked at them, I saw absolutely nothing I liked about them. So, off to the front porch we went! I’m wearing the jeans (similar, I think) from this post. I decided to just lop them off, but I think I may have cut them a bit too short…oops! I bought this sweater and tee late in January or early in February. I knew when I bought the sweater I didn’t really like v necks. I bought it anyway because I really liked some of the details and the color. I should have listened to the voice in my head reminding me I don’t like v necks! I tried to give this to my daughter, but she didn’t like it either. I decided to give it a second chance and just didn’t button it all the way. That made me a bit happier, but I’m not buying any more v neck sweaters!
The Lewk!
You may remember these L’Artiste Caiman sandals from last summer. I decided to wear them because I am just so tired of my footwear these days! And, I am pretty sure the heels of my boots would have been too tall for my jeans. I decided to go with rose gold accessories for no particular reason other than that’s what I felt like wearing! All of these things are old. I think my necklace is from Premier Designs which is no longer in business. The cuff and adjustable chain bracelet are from Kendra Scott, and the earrings and grey with rose gold beads bracelet are from Stella & Dot.
Wrap it up, Marsha!
You know, I have always considered myself an optimist. Even optimists can have bad days! Today/yesterday was one of those days. I was glad to talk to my son and get some clarification going in my head! And, for the record, I do love to talk to all three of my kids! They are all three so different! So, can we talk? Do you ever have those “poor me” days? If so, what do you do to get yourself out of it? Please leave a comment or two, and we can talk! I promise to respond as soon as I can!
10 on the 10th reminder…
Hopefully, you’ve been working on your answers for this month’s 10 on the 10th! I have started, but I’m not quite done yet. I hope you’ll participate one way or another and link up on Friday.
Affiliate links and such:
Just a reminder that Marsha in the Middle may use an affiliate link. Those links are usually italicized. If you click or make a purchase from an italicized link I provide, I may receive a small commission at no cost to you. Thank you for your support. As of right now, I also have an affiliate code for Kantha Bae! Use MarshaintheMiddle in the promo code box for $5 off any order (excluding Bestie restocks)! I have also become a Halftee Partner. Use the code, MARSHA2098, for 20% off any purchase. In case you didn’t know, bloggers must disclose the use of affiliate links. That’s why I include this in each post.
Thank you!
Honestly, I do appreciate all of you who read, comment, subscribe, or email. I also know I’m taking a bit of a risk talking about losing subscribers. When it happens, I always wonder what I did to convince someone to unsubscribe. I hope this post doesn’t change your mind! If you’d like to follow me on Instagram, you can find me here.
Where you can find me:
Linking up with Nancy’s Fashion Style, My Bijou LIfe, Fine-Whatever, Is This Mutton, Shelbee on the Edge, Chez Mireile, The Grey Brunette, and Away from the Blue. I also link up with This Blonde’s Shopping Bag, Doused in Pink, and I do deClaire and Mummabstylish. Please check out these wonderful ladies and their blogs! I also am a co-host for Ageless Style on the third Thursday of the month and Songful Style on the last Monday of the month. I co-host Traffic Jam Weekend with Michelle every Thursday. I also host Final Fridays on the last Friday of the month as well as 10 on the 10th on the 10th of the month! I do hope you’ll check out all of these blogs and link parties!
No matter the size of your following, you are still being impactful by being authentic. You and I, our blogs are not meant to “go viral” but to be a tiny beacon of lights that draws others near. I often think that my reasons for blogging are quite selfish because I do it as much for my benefit as I do for others. Maybe more so because that’s the only critic I answer to.
Rena
http://www.finewhateverblog.com
PS Also, my kids don’t read my blog either, or at least not often. They do follow me on IG so that’s good.
I’m not sure how closely or how often they read it. Two of the three do follow me on IG.
Thank you, Rena…that is really beautiful! You are right. The blogs I enjoy (yours included…and I’ve been reading it for years but never thought to subscribe or comment before I began blogging) are the ones where there’s more writing than photos. You are a wise, wise woman!
I have days like that too. Then I try to tell myself 1. that it will pas and 2. that the fun part of life wouldn’t be such fun without the bad days for the contrast 😉 .
Oh, Mie, what a wonderful way to think of it! Thank you so much!
Oh, I love your blog! I will tell you why. It’s like having a conversation with a good friend. It’s as if you are sitting right across from me having coffee. I do disagree with you about the v neck sweater. I have very broad shoulders and v necks elongate my torso and trim my shoulders. Your v neck sweater does the same for you. Your torso is longer! I especially liked your blog about the movies you like and the books you read. There are so many very good series on Netflix and Prime. I hope you have a great day!
Thank you so much, Linda! That’s exactly how I wanted to come across! OK, now, I’m going to have to go back and re-evaluate the way this sweater looks on me. I think my problem is I get hung up on my tummy being more exposed!
Thanks again for your words of encouragement!
I have just a small blogging audience, and it’s been several years since I gave much thought at all to expanding my reach and getting noticed. I do it for me, because like you said, I enjoy the creative process and it keeps me motivated to learn and try new things. And I hope that my few readers get something out of what I write. 🙂 How blessed you are to have that daily conversation with your son! And what valuable conversations! I miss my adult kids immensely since we moved, and have good relationships with them but I would always welcome even more phone calls and conversations!
Thanks, Kym! I think it was an important conversation to have with someone…my poor son! It is wonderful to talk with him (and his brother and sister) every day. We actually moved to be closer to them, but it’s hard when they’re far away. We’ve dealt with that, too!
Marsha, I hardly ever write comments, but fell I need to respond to this one. I have often subscribed to blogs others recommended but later realize it isn’t quite what I wanted. The reason is that I don’t always know just what it is I really want. That said. I enjoy your blog immensely. (Shout out to Jodie @JTouchof Style’ whose blog I also love). I love your chatty style. When I read your blog for the first time, you were talking about the open concept configuration of your house. Although not exactly the same as mine, it is very close. I had a hard time getting used to it. Now it is just normal to me.then, I learned you have a WESTIE. I love Westies. Our MacLeod was the best dog in the world. I miss him so much. But I get to see Jack sometimes and that makes me smile. Oh and we were both teachers. I taught in elementary school. (Actually that was where I learned about Westies! Have you ever read the MacDuff series?). And I crochet. Sometimes a lot; sometimes a little.
But I digress. Don’t worry, the point is although I don’t comment much, I love your style. You don’t need a huge number of followers, or to worry about those who come and go. It is the ones who stay, like me, that count!
Eileen…you not only made me cry tears of joy, but you made my day! I cannot tell you how much your words mean to me. Oh, a fellow Westie lover! Jack is our third one. We had Max for over 16 years and had Pete for a short 7 years. They were “brothers” in spirit and had such fun together. I still have a video on my phone of Max playing the backyard. They are such special little dogs (though mine never believed they were dogs in the first place). An elementary school teacher and a crocheter? We are so alike! What grade did you teach? I taught fourth grade after several years as a special education teacher. I loved fourth graders…they’re still curious and like school but can function independently. I’m not familiar with the MacDuff series, but I’ll be looking for it now!
Thank you so much, Eileen, for you words!
I have that conversation with myself often because we always want more, right?? But our relationships with the other women we meet through this platform is amazing.
BUT WAIT?? I need to know more about this hatred of “v-necks”. I see nothing wrong with that sweater. In fact, it’s the first thing I noticed and was going to tell you that it was amazing. Maybe it’s the fact you paired it with a crew neck and they seem to fight?? Not that I mind it, but why don’t you thrift a v-neck top and try it under the v-neck sweater? Or I can send you one??
But don’t give that sweater away…the color is beautiful. Besides you can always wear it backwards to have a crew neck in front.
XOXO
Jodie
http://www.jtouchofstyle.com
Thanks, Jodie! I have been amazed at those relationships I’ve formed with other bloggers and readers. It really is special!
Yep, I don’t exactly hate v necks, but I just feel “not right” in them. And, I used to wear them all the time. It’s a weird thing, right? I’ve got lots of v necks to try, but thanks for the offer! Oh, I could try it backwards! Thanks for the suggestion!
OH yes! I have people subscribe and unsubscribe all the time… and I don’t think anyone in my family reads my blog– ever! LOL. I definitely spent the first few years blogging hoping to make it big but now I’m pretty content with my small group of readers that comment and support me. I feel like I’ve made more of a connecting with this small audience and I love that I blog mostly for ME! I have much less pressure about content and views and things which makes it fun.
I think your outfit is fabulous; the colors are so pretty and just scream spring to me. I get your argument about v-necks though.. what about not buttoning it at all and using as an open cardigan?
Thanks, Joanne! I am like you and thought I’d be the next big thing in blogging! But, then I remembered that’s not what I’m about. I love how you put it…connecting with others! That’s what makes it the best, right?
I tried it unbuttoned, and I looked like Mr. Rogers! I’m going to try different tops under it as I think that may be the problem!
Wow, you are RADIANT in magenta! I actually like the V neck on you, but it’s your opinion that matters most, of course!
I’m a pretty new blogger, and I started after the peak of blogging…and I know I’ll never have a huge following. But that’s OK with me because I keep my expectations low. I’m totally serious that keeping my expectations low has been the secret to my happiness as a blogger! I mean, my blog posts have more readers than the typical academic journal article (an aspect of my previous life) so I take that as a win! And to me, chasing the big numbers would mean letting readership drive content in a way that would probably lack in authenticity. I’d rather be my authentic self to a small number of readers than play at being somebody else (and honestly probably still not have a large readership).
That said, it’s perfectly understandable to have those “poor me” days now and again. Having someone unsubscribe can definitely feel like a rejection of some kind, and humans are just not built to take social rejection in our stride. So I’m glad you are giving yourself some grace with your very natural reaction and reconnecting with your own reasons for doing what you do. And know that your committed readers do value what you bring to this space on the internet!
Oh, Sally, you have made my day…with your compliments and your explanations! I’m now over my pity party and realize how lucky I am to have readers who enjoy what I write. And, that doesn’t even begin to cover the fabulous women I’ve met through blogging!
Thanks, Sally!
I know how you feel! I was managing all the email unsubscribes myself but it felt a bit soul destroying so now there’s a link and it happens automatically. I often wonder why I still do it, when it takes so much time. But basically I love blogging and our little community.
Thanks, Gail! I have really been amazed at how welcoming the blogging community has been. You’d think everyone would think there was no need for another blogger!
Seems you got inspired by my article on the fuchsia pink trend for spring. If you want some styling tips check it out here. https://www.bauchlefashion.com/2023/03/6-ways-fuchsia-pink-is-brightening-up.html?m=1
Great post
Thanks, Heather! I will definitely head over to your blog to check it out! I can always use styling tips!
Not even my bestie reads my blog Marsha. I had those moments too that the numbers bothered me. But just like your son, someone pointed me of why I’m blogging. And that is far more important then numbers. To enjoy the writing, editing, the contacts with others!
Thanks, Nancy! I’m over my pity party now! And, you are so right…if I weren’t blogging, how would I have met you?
I hope my kids will call me half that often! Blogging and social media will go up and down with numbers, but the community is the best!
Thanks, Laura! It’s just a little disappointing when you’re trying to grow! But, then I remind myself I’m more invested in the community than the numbers. I’m betting your girls will call you all the time!
Marsha, I just love your blog! I can relate to your conversation with your son, it helps to remind ourselves why we do this even though there are parts of it that can hurt. We are learning and neuroplasticity is no joke! As long as the positives outweigh the negatives I’ll keep plugging along and I know you will too!
xo,
Kellyann
Thanks, Kellyann! You are so right because the positives definitely outweigh the negatives. I am having so much fun doing this (as is Nigel)!
Marsha, great post about our reactions and what really matters to us. I have to disagree about the cardigan. I live the v-neck on you. It it slims your upper half by breaking it up visually. Also I think the round neck T compliments it, I think another vneck there would clash.
Thank you so much, Leah! I need to look at these photos again and re-evaluate! You are not the only one who thinks they look good!
I love your blog Marsha, for so many of the reasons that everyone has mentioned above. You are so genuine and authentic! I am glad that we “met” on the internet!
I have those feelings sometimes too about my blog and Instagram. And then I just sort of push them away because that is not my main goal either; I like keeping a record of our lives that I can look back on, I like meeting and talking with people since my world is often very small. And, it is something that is just for me! As a stay at home mom who homeschools, well, we are home a lot and so much of my life is focused on Wyatt and Billy. Blogging gives me a chance to do something that is just mine. 🙂
Thank you for your honest post!
Aww, thank you, Erin! Your blog is a very bright spot in my world! I am so glad I found your blog because it connects me with my teaching side. I love seeing how you bring different things together to create wonderful lessons for Wyatt. And, I’ve very glad we’ve “met”. Perhaps, this summer, we could actually meet at Greenfield Village!
oh my God, you look amazing and the cardigan is so cute. I really love it.
https://www.melodyjacob.com/2023/03/what-skills-are-needed-to-be-public-speaker.html
Thanks so much, Melody!