Do you remember…
I just finished watching “Reality Check: Inside America’s Next Top Model.” I don’t remember when I started watching the actual show because we didn’t have cable or any kind of streaming service for years. Every time I’d visit my daughter in Charleston, I’d binge on that as well as “What Not to Wear.” In case you’re not aware of the show, here’s a brief description. Tyra Banks is/was a supermodel who decided to create a reality show to find the next top model. I don’t remember how many young women would be on the show, but thousands tried out. The show followed the format we are all so used to these days: challenges, photos, and someone would be eliminated at the end of the show. That’s it, in a nutshell.
A little history…
Honestly, I was mesmerized by the show. Those young women were so enthusiastic about trying to become the next supermodel of the world. They went through makeovers. Some of those makeovers made me gasp because they were so different from what they looked like. I don’t know what the thoughts were behind those makeovers. I felt guilty watching the tears flow when the women didn’t like their looks. It had to have been so traumatic for them. I loved the two Jays…Jay Manuel and Miss J. Jay was the look creator of the team. Miss J (who is a man, BTW) taught the girls how to walk the catwalk. Now, have any of you ever tried to walk like a model? I have, and it’s so hard. Those models make it look easy, but that’s part of their job, right? I’ll be even more honest and admit I really didn’t know who Tyra Banks was until I saw ANTM. But, it was the photographer who caught my eye. Nigel Barker is an English photographer and is soooo handsome.
My photographer…
And, here is where I need to come clean with y’all. My Nigel is not named Nigel at all. His name is Mike, but during our first photo shoots, I called him Nigel. He was confused until I explained the origin of that nickname. Honestly? He loves it! I have had lots of people ask me who Mike is because I always refer to him as Mike in my comments! I really love that he loves being my Nigel!
Thoughts…
Back to the point of this post, though! I finished the limited series today (three hour long episodes). I had watched about half of the series and was talking about it with my daughter. One of the biggest takeaways from the series was how many of the girls were so thin. My daughter loves podcasts and had listened to one about the series I watched. She told me none of the young women were paid. They were given a stipend for food; however, most of the young women ate very little. There were a handful of women interviewed during the course of the documentary. A couple of them were told they were too fat. I remember one of them was like 5’9” and weighed 115 pounds! She was one of the models targeted as being “fat.” They talked about the clothing they were supposed to wear…sample sizes…size 2! They were denigrated by the dressers as well as the judges, especially Janice Dickinson. I do remember thinking how vicious she was in her comments when I watched the original series.
The point (finally)…
Well, that’s not where I wanted to go, but I guess it was background. As my daughter and I were talking, she said the show, as she thought back upon it, was really vile. There were so many terrible things done. And, while I agree, I said something to the effect of, “But, that’s how it was back then.” Her response caught me off guard because it’s usually me making this argument! Does the fact it was years ago excuse the bad behavior? And, I’m really torn. Now, remember, I’m a Libra so I almost always see both sides of the argument. We then moved on to certain words and behaviors once deemed appropriate. Now that we know better, is it OK to excuse them for being used back in the day? I’m really stumped on that one as well as so many others.
The outfit…
I bought this dress several weeks ago. My iron broke so I wasn’t able to press it. Yes, I still use an iron. I actually love ironing because it’s one of those things you can do that gives instant results! But, I digress! This is the Marseille Lace Dress in Smoky Teal from April Cornell. It’s on sale right now. I’m not sure if you can use my code, MARSHA15, on sale items. I adore this dress…the color, the print, that glorious lace on the bodice! It is tiered, but the tiers disappear in the floral print. And, my friends, it has pockets. It’s a rayon blend which means it’s a three season dress for me. For some strange reason, the website says it’s grey. It’s a light teal, but it definitely has grey undertones to it. I also love that it has true long sleeves. Those are kinda rare at April Cornell. If you like this dress, check out April’s Attic because there are lots of bargains to be had!
The Lewk!
I have wanted a pair of Mary Janes for a while now. I also wanted a pair of actual heels, too. May I present the L’Artiste Gaviria Shoes! And, while beige is not my favorite color, these were perfect in beige! I thought they were the exact right footwear for this dress. I can also see wearing them with longer jeans, shorter dresses, midi skirts…you name it! Since I wanted the lace and the print of the dress to be the stars, I went with fairly unobtrusive jewelry. The earrings and bracelets are from J Jill. The bracelets have a little doohickey that can be undone to separate the bracelets into four separate bracelets.
Wrap it up, Marsha!
It’s funny how so many movies and television shows don’t hold up to time, isn’t it? Then, there are others that are timeless. I honestly don’t know what to think about “America’s Next Top Model.” It was a reflection of the times, right? The same holds true for lots of other shows. They are snapshots of time, but does that make them relevant? I truly am confuzzled. So, can we talk? Do we judge shows, people, phrases, words by the times in which they were seen/used? Or, do we judge them through the lens of today? Is there a movie or show you watched and now think you shouldn’t have? Please leave me a comment or two, and we can talk. I promise to respond as quickly as I can.
Thank you!
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Another thought provoking post Marsha. I have never actually watched Next Top Model here but know they were all over . It sounds like with many of these sort of things are made with little to no respect for the participants , especially vulnerable young women. Yes we can look back at many things and say it was of the time but it doesn’t make it right. Some may appear trivial while others much more serious.
On another note the dress is lovely as are the shoes.
Thank you, Jill, for both the compliments and the comment. I agree with you that we can’t excuse things because it was of the time. I’ve given this lots of thought even after posting about it. We need to acknowledge the wrong and make sure it doesn’t happen again. At least, that’s what I’d like to see happen.
Oh what not to wear, loved that. Anyway, I think you can’t judge things that happened decades ago. It simply was another time, we all learn along the way. Fabulous dress! Very you!
Thanks, Nancy! I loved What Not to Wear, too, though it’s funny how both Stacey and Clinton have come out with comments about how they feel badly now about what they did. I do hope we learn from past mistakes, but I’m not sure that’s always the case.
Morning Marsha,
This is an interesting debate. Is this where the title of your blog “Marsha in the Middle” comes from?
I agree with your daughter and Jill: ‘That’s how it was done then’ is a lame excuse. Most people know right from wrong. However, some find it difficult to speak out. Others speak out because they are brave; others because they’ll beat themselves up later if they don’t. Still others try to ‘run with the fox and hunt with the hare’, but there can be a high price to pay with that route – our own values and people’s trust. Bottom line, I think, most people try their best, are decent and don’t want to hurt others. Unfortunately, we can’t please everyone all the time.
Now, on to your nice dress: the lace bodice is great, and the shoes go well with it. I’m interested in your love of pockets. I prefer clothes without pockets – for a straighter line – and often remove them.
All the best, Mary
Thank you, Mary! Actually, my blog title comes from being a middle child, sort of. I am the middle daughter with a little brother. But, my youngest sister wasn’t born for several years after me so I’ve always considered myself a middle child. And, Indiana is often referred to as the Midwest. Add to that I consider myself middle-aged, and it just made sense! Thank you for the compliments on my dress. I love pockets because I have allergies and frequently need a tissue. I am very careful, though, to buy items where the pockets don’t create a visual sightline. I have to say I agree with you, my daughter, and Jill. Wrong is wrong. My parents and grandparents said atrocious things when I was growing up because that was the norm. If they were still alive today and saying those things, I would definitely correct them over and over again until it changed. I also agree with your bottom line. Thank you so much for commenting, Mary. As to your email, I’m not sure why comments are being forwarded to you all of a sudden. It may be a hiccup or a change in my email provider. I will try to investigate.
A lovely dress, Marsha.
Perhaps we could say that we are evolving and know different now? Not always for the better, but different.
Thank you, Rosie! I agree we are evolving though it doesn’t feel like it at times.
I always thought models were too thin, although, thinking about it, looking back to the 50s and 60s, what I remember was that models were a more normal size. Then Twiggy changed all that as she was incredibly skinny. That belief, of it’s good and indeed better being thin, is unrealistic for so many of us and now is ubiquitous – it’s wrong and leads vulnerable girls to make themselves look excruciatingly thin. This isn’t good, end of.
But so good that you brought this up.
And what a lovely dress with your usual fab accessories – I especially love the shoes.
Thanks, Penny! I love these shoes so much. They are a little higher than what I usually wear, but they’re very comfortable. You know, I think people were just, in general, thinner in the 50s and 60s. At the museum, they almost always have a dress of some kind on display. Right now, it’s a Christian Dior (I think). I had asked if they pinned these dresses, and the answer was a definitive no. The Dior dress has such a tiny waist, but it also has some boning. I don’t know if that worked like corsetry or not. I remember Twiggy, but I remember her eyes more than her body, probably because I was so young at the time. I do believe social media will probably make young women and men feel they need to be even more thin even though they’re usually aware of the filtering going on.
I used to love ANTM and thought Tyra Banks was fab. I hated it though, when they gave the girls a makeover that they clearly did not want. Like chopping off someone’s glorious long locks when they clearly loved them. I thought that was cruel. Nigel was very attractive, wasn’t he? And so well spoken! Miss Jay was hilarious. But Janice Dickinson — what a bitch (excuse my French but she was awful!)!! I haven’t seen the documentary. I probably won’t because I don’t like watching things that get my back up!
Your outfit is STUNNING, Marsha! The dress is beautiful and the shoes……WOW they are divine!! And the beige colour means they’ll go with everything!!
Big hugs
Suzy xx
Thank you so much, Suzy! When I saw these shoes, I just had to have them. I’d been wanting something like that for a long time, and these were perfect! I agree with you about those makeovers. I do remember when they would cut off their hair or dye it some ungodly color. I don’t think the idea was to make them look better but to create drama. I couldn’t believe how Miss J could strut down that catwalk…he had the most gorgeous legs! He had a severe stroke and had to learn how to talk again. I just checked, and he’s still not able to walk even though his stroke was in 2022. Janice was just awful…vicious and vile. I wanted to slap my tv at times when she was on. I was so glad when they got rid of her. If you watch any of the episodes, watch the last one. That’s the one that shows Miss J and talks about his stroke. It will give you good feelings, and that’s all I’m going to say!
There is a 1965 Barbie outfit coming with a book “How to lose weight” (the advice is “Don’t eat”) and scales permanently set to 110 lbs. Even then there were already people warning about this. Way before Next Top Model. The industry didn’t listen at all for decades and even now they may have become more inclusive, but they still haven’t learned.
Shows like that are made to create drama to keep the audience’s attention because we are all drawn to drama or bad news in some way. I watched part of the first German Big Brother (during dialysis, we didn’t have many options, my chair neighbor and I watched together in disbelief, but I still regret it) and one and a half pop star casting shows (with my sister).
The only competetion shows I watch if I can catch them are those in lines of The Great Pottery Thrown Down and even not all of those if they seem to be creating emotional drama on purpose and in a mean way for the sake of views,
If you don’t know them yet, follow Good Boy Ollie on Instagram. Ollie and Tato are the best to guarantee a smile.
I just followed Good Boy Ollie, but I’ll have to watch when Jack is not around. He’ll start barking, then Mike will start barking! It’s a daggone circus around here at times.
I did not know that about Barbie. Well, I suppose their advice was right even if it was bad advice. I think that’s what all the reality shows are about…creating drama. We have been watching The Traitors, and it’s so full of drama. But, gosh do I love Alan Cumming. One of the things I love about British reality shows is the kindness. Everyone seems ready to help everyone else, especially the Great British Baking Show. I haven’t noticed any drama on the Great Pottery Throw Down, but I’m behind. (I loved when they had to make toilets).
Oh yes, that’s exactly why I like to watch the Throwdown – because there’s no drama. Emotional moments for the potters sometimes and of course for Keith, but no drama. It’s so soothing.
I meant I don’t watch competition shows that are like Throwdown in concept, but are mean. I remember feeling like that about a knitting show, so I stopped watching.
Ah, I see what you mean now! I do love when Keith gets emotional. It has to mean a lot to the potters when that happens.
Oh your post is so timely. I’ve noticed recently that many of the clothing retailers (from a variety of sites) feature models who are extremely thin. One retailer was actually promoting plus size fashion, but none of the models were plus size. I thought we and moved beyond that and became inclusive of all sizes. And don’t even get me started about the ridiculous size called XXS. I don’t like where this heading.
On a more positive note, I LOVE the shoes. They are gorgeous!
Thanks, Beth! I couldn’t resist these shoes, and when they sent me a coupon, I bought them! It bugs me, too, when a retailer calls something plus size, and then they have a (what I consider) normal sized woman wearing the clothing. I remember reading about a retailer (J Crew, I think) when they first started using the size 00. Part of that came about because of the shift due to vanity sizing. You really never know what size you are which is, I suppose, why so many people say to not pay attention to the number. I know what size I wear at the retailers I shop a lot. But, even those size charts aren’t always accurate. It’s so disconcerting!
I think the point is you don’t know what you don’t know…so at the time, the things we did may not have been thought of as inappropriate and such.
The quote I really like is that you can’t just the past by standards of today…and while it may not be “right”, it was the thing at the time.
Love the dress and the story about Nigel…I knew his name was Mike, but I didn’t remember why the Nigel part.
XOOX
Jodie
Thanks, Jodie! Hmmm…I think that’s true that we can’t judge the past by today’s standards, but do we excuse it? I think that’s my question. Do we excuse that behavior or call it what it was? There are things I did and said in the past that I deeply regret now…I call it evolution…but I was still guilty of that bad behavior and knew it as such. I think there are some people who use that excuse when they use certain words even today…they know it’s bad yet they do it anyway.
Yes, I thought it was time to come clean about Mike/Nigel! But, I’m still going to call him Nigel on the blog…he loves that!
I was thinking of watching the docu-series, I just might! I don’t remember watching the original show much but boy did I love WNTW!
I cannot imagine being a model. They must have been starving all the time, I’m surprised their hair didn’t fall out with how malnourished they must have been.
Love your Lewk today!
xo,
Kellyann
Thanks, Kellyann! Isn’t this lace something? Yes, do watch the docu-series and let me know what you think. Oh, my gosh! I loved watching WNTW, but I almost wonder what the untold story is there, too. As far as eating, they showed one girl just eating dill pickles while a voice over said most of them existed on cigarettes and Diet Coke. They were just cavernous. I mean some people are naturally that thin, but these girls were being pushed to be as thin as they could be and still continue to live. It really opened my eyes.
Love this dress! I am such an idiot! I didn’t realize your husband’s name was Mike. You probably said this in past posts. My husband is Michael and my late husband was Mike too. Both of their friends are Mikes. They surround us Marsha! Lol!
https://www.kathrineeldridge.com
Thanks, Kathrine! No, I actually have never referred to him as Mike on the blog…only in comments! Wow…that’s a lot of Michaels/Mikes in your life. Our sons’ and grandsons’ middle names are all Michael. It’s a good solid name, right?
I loved the TLC show What Not to Wear and while I watched a few episodes of ANTM it was also hard for me to relate to. I’ll have to give the docu-series a watch – it sounds intriguing! I had no idea that your Nigel is actually Mike but I love the story of how he got his nickname! So fun! I also LOVE the dress you are wearing – the colors are perfect for you, Marsha!
Thanks, Laura! I loved this dress when it first came out. When it went on sale, I snapped it up! I laughingly (but seriously) told my daughter she’d better never nominate me for What Not to Wear because $5000 wasn’t going to be near enough money to replace my wardrobe…especially when you think about shopping in NYC! But, I really enjoyed it. I did like ANTM just because it was so different. Now, after watching the docu-series, I feel guilty for having been a part of boosting their ratings. I felt like this was the perfect time to come clean about Mike/Nigel though I will continue to call him Nigel on the blog. He loves that (not that he reads the blog).
I think the crazy part of the show is ‘back then’ was NOT that long ago! How could they have not realized!? It did not age well. It was confusing to me because on one hand Tyra was trying to advocate for models of different sizes and change the industry. But then she would make comments that were completely out of line with that. I feel so badly for the models who went through it all. It didn’t seem worth it in the end even if they won.
Thanks, Laura! You are so right! It was less than 25 years ago! They did show the scene where she confronted Janice about girls bending over toilets, but then she’d be sitting there telling girls no one would hire them because they were too big. The reality is she was making a show, not a documentary (though that’s what they claimed to excuse so many bad behaviors on their part). While I think, in the beginning, she wanted to change lives, the show became so successful that it became more about the numbers than about the models. And, it definitely wasn’t worth it in the end…most places wanted nothing to do with anyone who had been on the show. I didn’t realize that.
I was actually talking about this with a friend this week – I’ve not watched the show but apparently Tyra Banks lives here selling icecream and $7 water – I found out when I needed to buy a bottle of water and that was the nearest shop. Anyway, one girl was made to fix the gap in her teeth and then another girl was made to PUT a gap between her teeth. Hot take, don’t do that. Anyway I wondered if TB was chased out of town because of cruelty. I understand it’s a huge industry but I’d like women to do better for other women. If we’re selling on looks, make it realisting and naturally attainable looks. But I am old so what do I know? #TrafficJamReboot
Thanks, Lydia! Yes, she did say that! Strange how she found herself in Australia, right? $7 for a bottle of water? Well, I guess she has to earn a living some way…but, one wonders how well her employees are paid. Yes, they had the young woman who, at first, refused to fix her gap on the show. Then, she mentioned how they had another model several years later put a gap in her teeth. Wow!!! I was waiting for them to bring up her wildly popular (at least here in the States) talk show. I can remember, one time, all these women came out in leotards or something with a posterboard over their torso showing their weight, including Tyra. That whole show was on body positivity. I think, in this age of AI and filters, it will be hard to find truly realistic women in beauty campaigns…unless they ask me to do one…hahaha!!!
Hello Marsha. I loved your explanation about Nigel aka Mike. Thanks for sharing that with us. It is interesting to think about whether things should be forgiven, because “it was a different time.” I’m inclined to say that wrong is wrong…but then I think of some of the things my grandparents said that would definitely not fly today, and I know what good, loving people they were, so I’m willing to grant them some grace. Maybe intent and education have to factor in. Sometimes people really are doing the best they can with the tools they have. Hopefully, we learn and we improve.
Thanks, Christie! I like the way you are thinking, Christie. But, are we giving that grace because we love those people and can’t see the harm their words may have caused? My parents and grandparents definitely used words and phrases I would not tolerate today. Does the fact everyone used those words and it was the times excuse them? I really don’t know. I would love to think my dad, especially, as he died in 1974, would have realized how hurtful those words and, even ideas, were. He, also, was a good and kind person. But, in reality, I just don’t know as I was only 17 and loved him so much that I think that love colored everything. Today, as I said, I would definitely correct him if I had to. As you say, hopefully, we learn and improve through education and intent. Thanks again for such a thoughtful answer.
I watched the show a few times with my daughter but that was ages ago. They really did treat the models horribly and most reality show contestants actually. Do you remember the first few years of American Idol and how awful the judges were? Even though it was the norm back then, it still isn’t acceptable. Anyway, your dress is so pretty! Love the print!
Jill – Doused in Pik
Thanks, Jill I honestly had no idea how awful they treated those poor models. I guess I should’ve realized when it came to those makeovers that were so awful. And yes, I do remember those first few seasons of American Idol. Simon Cowell was just so arrogant and mean at times. Thank you for the compliment on the desk.
Marsha, I adore this dress and I love the story behind your Nigel! I, too, was confused who Mike was! LOL I also enjoy ironing for the same reason…instant results. But I get the same satisfaction from my steamer! I am also torn about forgiving bad behavior when we may not have known any better. But should we have known better? I suppose we all need time to learn and grow and evolve and become better people…individually and as an entire species. Humans are weird and probably the cruelest, most dangerous, most destructive, and most unpredictable of all the creatures in the world. Great post and fabulous outfit, my friend.
Shelbee
Thanks, Shelbee! For a long time, I wasn’t sure about whether or not I wanted to expose Nigel. But it did seem like it this time. I know it’s goofy to enjoy such a time-consuming chore, but you get that instant gratification. I would get a steamer, but I don’t have room for one. And I’m still torn about bad actions in the past. Do we forgive people because it was a different time? And are those people even still around? I think, we have to move forward and encourage everyone to be kind and to evolve.
I’ve heard that story about Nigel/Mike but I still love hearing it. It’s so funny and cute.
Love the outfit.
Thank you, Lisa! I love that he still likes being called Nigel on the blog even though he doesn’t read it. My brother even refers to him as Nigel!