It’s time for another Global Writing Challenge prompt. Our current membership consists of MK’s Adventures in Style, Deb’s World, Women Over 50 Living Well, Suzy Turner, Rosie Amber, Within a World of My Own, and me. Rosie chose this month’s theme. I think it’s a wonderful prompt because we can all use a little bit of kindness, right? Many of our members are on lovely vacations right now (yes, I’m jealous), but the rest of us are here to entertain you! I love the Global Writing Challenge because it’s always fun to see what others come up with…the responses rarely repeat. On top of the wonderfully different opinions and thoughts, the writing itself is wonderful! I hope you’ll visit all of these blogs because you are going to be amazed at, not only the diversity of ideas, but the stories of each person. There’s also a link party at the end of this post!
If you want to participate…
If you’d like to join in, we post on the second Thursday of the month. You can link up with me or any of the other bloggers. Here are the next few prompts of the year:
- November – Creativity
- December – A Christmas Carol
So, on we go…
You know that old saying, “If a tree falls in the woods, but no one is there, does it make a sound?” I often think about that. I’m a Libra so I sometimes…maybe…often…think of things both ways. I’m one of those “on the one hand/on the other hand” kind of people. So, lately I’ve been wondering, “If you don’t have cruelty, would kindness exist?” I mean, it’s a bit of a yin/yang kinda thing, right?
In a perfectly kind world…
So, let’s think about this for a second or two. If everyone were kind all the time, would kindness even exist? It would be the de facto state of mind. No one would notice anything different because all things would be done kindly. People would always open the door for you when your hands are full. Someone would always let you merge when you’re entering the highway. The tall guy would always be there to grab the Diet Coke off the top shelf. You get the idea. There just wouldn’t be any other way of behaving. People would honestly have no other way of doing things.
The real deal…
Now, let’s talk about reality. How many times are you driving down the highway and need to get into another lane? You put on your light to signal your intent. But, no one slows down because they are in a hurry. Finally, someone slows down, maybe flashes their lights to let you know it’s ok to merge. See the difference? Without that act of benign cruelty, the kindness of a perfect stranger becomes that more impactful.
Or this…
How many times have you gone to the grocery store meaning to pick up just a loaf of bread or a package of something or other, and ended up with an armful of things you forgot you needed? You don’t have a cart, and your arms are full. Then, someone comes to your rescue just as your perfectly balanced haul is about to tumble over. They grab that one thing and hand you one of those little baskets. But, before that random stranger rescues you, three or four other people pass you by without even a smile of commiseration. Is the act of that one person more significant because of what had happened prior to the rescue?
So…
I think kindness is a practice just like yoga. We have to practice it over and over again in random places and with complete strangers in order for it to become so ingrained that we just react kindly to any situation. I also think our world is moving at such a fast pace we forget the powerful effect a simple act can have on not only the person with whom you’re interacting, but also the meaning it can give to your own life.
Past kindness…
Over the years, I have practiced kindness in many different ways. Some have come back to bite me in the derriere while others have remained with me for decades! Once I bought a winter coat for a student who only had a windbreaker. Her mother wrote me a scathing letter because I inferred she was incapable of providing for her child. To this day, I don’t know if I was in the wrong or not. In fact, that same young woman who is now a mother of four beautiful girls recently sent me a message on Facebook telling me she remembered my kindness to her when others looked the other way. I also remember being in Von Maur in Fort Wayne many, many years ago. One of the sales associates at the beauty counters looked up and greeted me. I stopped dead in my tracks because this woman was absolutely stunning, and I told her so. She looked shocked for a moment, and then, with tears in her eyes, she told me she really needed to hear that because she’d been having a terrible day.
Wrap it up, Marsha!
I have always been the person who sees the glass half full. I choose to believe the person across from me is inherently good. I believe people want to do the best they can in all situations. But, I also believe we need to experience the bad sides of people and situations to fully appreciate the powerful and lasting effects of kindness. Kindness isn’t difficult. It’s actually as easy as asking the person at the cash register what their favorite candy bar is and then buying it for them. You’d be amazed at how surprised they are. It’s an easy thing to do, and I encourage you to try it! By the way, the answer I receive most often is Twix! So, can we talk? What little acts of kindness have you experienced? Do you think we almost need cruelty to appreciate kindness? How do you practice kindness? Please leave me a comment or two, and we can talk. I promise to respond as quickly as I can.
Where you can find me:
Linking up with Nancy’s Fashion Style, Fine-Whatever, Is This Mutton, Shelbee on the Edge, Chez Mireile, Suzy Turner, and Away from the Blue as well as Deb’s World and A Fresh Cup of Coffee. I also link up with This Blonde’s Shopping Bag, Doused in Pink, I do deClaire, Mummabstylish, Style Splash and Elegantly Dressed and Stylish as well as the Senior Salon Pit Stop (Esme’s Salon) and Slices of Life. Please check out these wonderful ladies and their blogs! I also am a co-host for Ageless Style on the third Thursday of the month and Songful Style on the last Monday of the month. I co-host Traffic Jam Weekend every Thursday with Melynda, Lisa, and Sue. I also host Final Fridays on the last Friday of the month as well as 10 on the 10th on the 10th of the month! I do hope you’ll check out all of these blogs and link parties!
What others are saying…
Suzy “takes a soulful look at kindness, seeing it as an energy we carry into every part of life rather than just an act or a word.”
Sally says, “In a world obsessed with personality types and traits, it’s important to remember that kindness is a choice everyone can make.”
Mary Katherine is still on hiatus, catching up with old friends, and vacationing.
Sue is vacationing this month!
Debbie is also vacationing this month!
Rosie talks about A Year Of Doing Good.
And, now, it’s your turn!
If you’d like to link up your posts about kindness, you may link up here or at any of the other blogs!
Oef Marsha. This is heavy at my breakfast, lol. I think kindness is hard to find these days. The world is cruel. Or perhaps, I see it that way because I’m getting older and my perspective has changed. I don’t know. I try to be kind though.
Oh, Nancy! I’m so sorry! Has the world become more cruel, or do we just get fed a daily dose of it? I’m betting your daily interactions with people are more kind than not. At least, I hope so. I think you are probably one of the most kind people around!
Oh I like the yin and yang idea, I have not though of the need for opposites so one can exist.
I would love to see more of the balances shown in all media platforms.
Thanks, Rosie! I was struggling with what to write, and that tree analogy came to me. So, I just took it from there. I have to admit I just skim social media, or I just ruin my day!
This post beautifully shows how kindness is both a choice and a habit we can build. Small acts really do make a big difference, especially when kindness stands out against everyday indifference. I love the idea of practicing kindness daily to spread positivity to others and ourselves. Thanks for the inspiring reminder. best school in noida extension
Thank you so much, Ellie! I agree there are so many times we have a choice to make…kindness or unkindness. And, making kindness a habit is a good thing! Thank you for the lovely compliments.
This ying/yang idea is making me think about how often we extend kindness to those who (we think) “deserve” it but withhold it from those we deem undeserving. Extending kindness to the person in front of us, regardless of how “worthy” they are, would be a challenging but good goal!
Thanks, Sally! I hadn’t thought of it that way, but you’re right. I did learn not to pay for the person behind me at McDonald’s! The managers hate that for some reason! Now, I buy a gift card inside and tell them to use it for as long as it goes. I love your last sentence…so very true!
Marsha, this is a very thought-provoking and philosophical post today! I wish we could meet in person because I believe it would be a wonderfully interesting conversation. To me the world is on fire and we need all the kindness we can muster. It needn’t be a big gesture either. Little deeds mean so much. I love that you bought your student a coat! Perhaps her mother was embarrassed that she couldn’t provide and lashed out to hide her shame. Who knows. It was very kind!
Thank you, Beth! I would love to meet because I think we could, indeed, have many wonderful conversations. I agree this world is so full of suffering and pain right now. Kindness and love are what is needed to help douse those fires. I am always so surprised by the reactions of cashiers when I buy them a candy bar. It’s a little thing, but the looks on their faces truly is wonderful. I do believe that mom was embarrassed, and I should have checked with her first. My husband is the same way…he cannot accept a gift…not even after more than 50 years!
It’s never bad when you practice kindness like buying that coat. People react with their own issues.But your intention was fabulous.
Xoxo
Jodie
Thanks, Jodie! While my intention was good, I did end up embarrassing both the mom and the student. I should have asked first. I never forgot that lesson!
What an interesting commentary, Marsha. I love the comparison of kindness to yoga. I do believe we would appreciate the small acts of kindness less if there was no cruelty…but I’m wouldn’t mind a chance to see that in real life, or even a tip towards kindness at this point. That said, it has been my personal experience that there are more kind people than cruel in the world. The acts of cruelty sure get a lot more attention. And from another perspective (I’m a Libra too), no one is entirely kind or unkind all of the time. Each of us could work on tipping the scale further to the kind side in our own lives. Thank you for this thought-provoking post.
Thanks, fellow Libra! I think you are right on so many points here. I think there are definitely more kind people than cruel. I didn’t really want to use the word, cruel, but I couldn’t come up with a better one. I agree we need to tip the scale much further toward the kind side in our lives which will make the world a kinder place. I wasn’t sure how to approach this prompt until I thought of the tree falling thing, and then I went from there. Thanks for making me think, too!
I guess it can backfire but it doesn’t always mean it’s not kind. There was a guy in front of me at the supermarket and he didn’t ahve enough money for the 4 things he was getting so he started to say ‘oh, I won’t get the milk’. I told him I’d just get the lot for him (it wasn’t much) and he was really taken aback. I told him I’d just witnessed a car crash and needed good kharma and that sort of eased the embarrassment as then I was talking about how shook up I was about the crash. Humans are tricky and we have a lot of pride.
Nice angle on the negative side of kindness – and what we think is a nice thing to do might be completely insulting to the recipient. A bit like those charities that give money and shelter but with conditions – you have to stop drinking, you can’t be gay, you have to be religious etc. Less kindness and more control and abuse of their financial power.
Thanks, Lydia! I didn’t ever think that…that even though my gift of a coat backfired that it didn’t mean it wasn’t a kind gesture. I was just so upset because I’d upset this mom. It is difficult for some people to receive (my husband is one). I like the way you defused the situation by saying it was karma for the car crash you’d seen. We sure do have a lot of pride which can lead to some tricky times.
I’m glad you saw the point I was trying to make!
Kindness can certainly be a good thing and it can bite us back at times. I hate that. I’ve tried to be kind and had it thrown back at me.. that seems to happen more in my family than anywhere else it seems. Ha! But that’s usually when a family member is grumpy and tired and doesn’t want to be bothered.
Anyhow, nice thoughts about kindness.
I love the idea of kindness and strive to do at least one act of kindness every day. It can be as simple as greeting a stranger during a walk.
Thanks, Nicole! You are exactly right. We tend to think kindness has to be such a grandiose thing. But, a simple smile can make someone’s day!
That was an interesting post and it made me think quite a bit.
If there wasn’t any cruelty – although I think most of the time it’s just thoughtlessness or indifference – I think there could still be different levels of kindness. There would be the small gestures of kindness such as picking up something someone has dropped, but also the bigger ones like really being there for people even if you don’t know them that well. So I don’t think of it as a yin/yang situation that much, I think it could be really nice.
Being kind can be so easy, but it can also be exploited and leave you empty (own experience). I learned how to burn bridges and how to say no if it’s necessary.
I treasure every bit of kindness because I feel it has become so much easier for people not to be kind, following others’ example and justifying their own by saying “they do it, too” which is a dangerous spiral downwards.
I’m probably starting to babble now, so I’m going to stop here 😉
You aren’t babbling at all. I love to hear what you think. I think cruelty may have been a little extreme, but my thesaurus wasn’t offering me any better words. And, there are definitely levels of kindness. My thought was if we didn’t have the bad, would we recognize the good? And, yes, unkindness seems to be the norm these days. I worry that kids will grow up thinking that it’s ok to be unkind because that’s what everyone else is doing. We are in a sad state of affairs. But, I also am the eternal optimist (along with being the Queen of Procrastinators) and hope the pendulum will swing the other way.
Thank you for commenting! You always make me think!
You bring up an interesting point with the yin-yang. It would be wonderful to live in a world where everyone was kind all of the time, but then you wouldn’t necessarily notice when someone does a small act of kindness for you – it would have less of an impact. I try to do something kind every day. I love the candy bar idea!
Jill – Doused in Pink
Oh, Jill, you said it perfectly! I should have had you write my post because I used way more words than you just did! I find the candy bar idea to be easy and fast. And, the “payoff” is immediate. Sometimes, the person just looks at me in shock. It’s sad when you think about it. But, I just want to try to make my little corner of the world a little better.
Lately, for some reason, I keep encountering essays about the distinction of being kind versus being nice.
I’m okay with both, but it seems that “nice” tends to be more docile than intentional, and kindness is more meted out and earned.
I’ve tried practicing both when it comes to social media. I really try not to engage, even when people are making sweeping generalizations meant to provoke.
Likewise, I try to be a regular practitioner of kindness…and sometimes I think the less someone seems to deserve it, the more they are in need of it.
Wow! That’s interesting. Hmm…that’s an interesting way to look at kindness and being nice. I can see it, I guess. I always think nice is just a titch above “not really feeling it!” I have been avoiding social media except to post my blog stuff and to see my memories on Facebook. I do have a niece that I love to read her stuff. She’s an amazing writer, scholar, and all around amazing.
I agree with your last statement. Today, I noticed, as I was driving to the museum, there would be moments where I was thinking, “Oh, no you don’t!” when another car tried to get in front of me. Then, I remembered my post and slowed down. Gotta practice what I preach!
Thanks, Em, for your insightful comments!
I love the idea of buying a candy bar for the cashier! What a simple act, but probably goes so far! I try to be kind as much as possible!
Thanks, Laura! I am always surprised at how surprised they are…which is kinda sad in a way. I think SLPs are just naturally kind!
You’re so right, Marsha…how would we know what kindness truly is if we didn’t experience the opposite of it every day? I always practise kindness in my life (although I’m sure I’ve had my moments lol!). It’s important to me to always say thank you to the driver who gives way, the person who opens the door or offers assistance in anyway. And I’ve also been known to tell complete strangers that they are beautiful or that their outfit is gorgeous. It just feels like the right thing to do. But I do get a bit irritated when others don’t give way or say thank you (It’s worse when I’m hormonal! lol).
Brilliant post, Marsha!
Big hugs
Suzy xx
Thanks, Suzy! I have been really working on my being kind while driving since I wrote that. I am a classic Type A driver and get quite irritated on the road! No road rage, though!
This was such a great prompt, Marsha, and I agreed with you on so many points. Kindness is something that definitely needs to be practiced and we are in dire need of more of it in today’w world. When I taught Kindergarten, we focused on kindness all the time – it was one of our primary guidelines for our class… “Be Kind, Be Safe, Be Prepared and Work Hard!” Each year I’d begin the year by teaching a lesson based on the story of “a wrinkled heart” and how once we’ve said something unkind to someone we can try to fix it but our words always leave a “wrinkle”. it was powerful! All year long, you’d hear kids say “don’t wrinkle anyone’s heart!” and the story often made it’s way into my students’ homes, too! As you reminded me today, we never truly know the power our words can have on someone else’s day so let’s choose kindness!
Thank you, Laura! I think I should have used a word other than cruelty, though. I taught something similar to that with my students in fourth grade though a heart would have been much better. It’s a lesson we all need to hear over and over again. How wonderful to know it “went home” with your little ones.
I love these stories you tell here. Thanks for reminding me to be kind. Sometimes we can forget when we get busy!
https://www.kathrineeldridge.com
Thank you, Kathrine! I have to remind myself all the time to be kind when it’s so easy to be snarky or unkind.
Hi, Marsha – Most of the bad behavior you described sounds like people just not noticing other people around them; not realizing that others have feelings. Kindness takes some of thoughtfulness and that’s likely why mindfulness is so important in life. Thanks for the thoughts – Angie, http://www.yourtrueselfblog.com
Thanks, Angie! You are entirely correct about the bad behavior. I think, for the most part, people just aren’t aware of what’s going on…except for those drivers who won’t let you in on the interstate! I had just been thinking about the whole tree falling thing and thought that’s the direction I’d take this post. Thanks for your thoughts…they’re always so insightful.