Last year, I joined the wonderful women from Is This Mutton, MK’s Adventures in Style, Deb’s World, Grownup Glamour, and Frugal Fashion Shopper for a global writing challenge. Later, Suzy from The Grey Brunette, Sue from Living Well after 50, Leslie from Once Upon a Time, Happily Ever After and I joined in on the fun permanently! MK came up with this month’s prompt, and I have to say it was thought-provoking. I really had to examine my heart to see exactly what I truly wanted to share. I hope you’ll visit all of these blogs because you are going to be amazed at, not only the diversity of the ideas, but the stories of each person. There’s also a link party on Is This Mutton.
So, the road not taken…
“You have to go to college.” These six words were the roadblocks to the road I didn’t take. My German teacher insisted I had to go to college one day during class my Junior year. One would think I was born in April at times because I am just that stubborn. Or, as my mom would have put it…bull headed! It was at that point I decided I would show him and not go to college.
If only I had had guidance counselors who actually gave me guidance. What kind of guidance did I receive? Well, it usually went like this: “Marsha, your grades are so good, and your test scores are so high, you could do anything you want.” Helpful, right? At no time did a counselor tell me, “Look, the first thing you need to do is take the SAT. Then, we can sit down, take a look around, and find some scholarships for you.” That, that would have changed my life and led me down a road not taken.
I was at a vulnerable stage in my life. My dad had died the summer before my junior year. I was a bit adrift as my mom retreated into her own shell. As the oldest child at home, the responsibilities of taking care of my two younger siblings came to rest on my shoulders. I thought I was an adult. As an adult, therefore, I could make certain decisions, right? One of those involved getting married within weeks (less than two, I think) of graduating from high school.
There is a very real part of me that wishes I’d gone to college right out of high school and experienced all college life has to offer. I can only imagine those experiences through the things my kids told me as well as movies and books. My friends who did go to college, obviously, didn’t sit down and give me all the nitty gritty. I was in a different space than they were.
One of the things I know is that I would have traveled. I know that deep in my heart of hearts. I would have done a semester abroad, or I would have gone backpacking with the friends I would have made (for life, too, might I add). We would have taken a month or so before real life began and backpacked across Europe. I would have danced in the fountains you see in advertisements. I would have kissed some foreign boy I’d never see again. I would have sipped espresso at outside cafes while nibbling on croissants. I might have purchased lovely silks from merchants in far off lands. There were so many roads I might have taken then. And, I would have all these memories packed away in the silken boxes of my mind. And, yet would they have led me to my happily ever after? No, they would have all been little side trips along the way.
Eventually, I did go to college. I had three kiddos under the age of five, but I worked it out. I have to chuckle because I honestly don’t even remember registering for class. Nigel was thrilled once I told him I was ready to go to college. We had been married almost nine years when I began school. I worked around my kids’ schedules so that I would be home as much as possible. I finished in about 4.5 years and went on to teach for more than 20 years.
Wrap it up, Marsha!
This was a really tough and bittersweet prompt. While I sincerely wish I’d had the true college experience, I know, deep down in my heart, I wouldn’t have the family I have today. I think we are the product of a specific space and time. And, if Nigel and I had married four years later, I think I’d have different children than I have today. Does that even make sense? I can regret those lost experiences, but I will never regret the road I did take. I love my family and my life. I think I’ve been very lucky in my life and really have only faced this one really big Road Not Taken. All the rest have been little meanderings that led me back to the main road. So, can we talk? Have you a Road Not Taken story? Or, did you take that road and are so very glad you did? Would you like to change any choices you made? Please leave a comment or two, and we can talk. I promise to respond as soon as possible.
Thank you!
I want to thank all of you from the bottom of my heart for reading, commenting, subscribing or emailing! It truly means so much to me! If you’d like to follow me on Instagram, you can find me here.
Where you can find me:
Linking up with Nancy’s Fashion Style, Fine-Whatever, Is This Mutton, Shelbee on the Edge, Chez Mireile, The Grey Brunette, and Away from the Blue as well as Deb’s World. I also link up with This Blonde’s Shopping Bag, Doused in Pink, I do deClaire, Mummabstylish, and Style Splash. Please check out these wonderful ladies and their blogs! I also am a co-host for Ageless Style on the third Thursday of the month and Songful Style on the last Monday of the month. I co-host Traffic Jam Weekend every Thursday with Melynda and Lisa. I also host Final Fridays on the last Friday of the month as well as 10 on the 10th on the 10th of the month! I do hope you’ll check out all of these blogs and link parties!
What others are saying…
“For this month’s Tell Us About…..The Road Not Travelled, Sue from Women Living Well After 50, looks at why we should reflect but not regret the road not taken but it’s never too late to change and take new roads and opportunities.”
“Penny definitely did not take one road she should have taken, but did go down another road, which was worth the effort, but she still thinks about that missed opportunity.”
“From planning a future in psychology in England to an unexpected love on her 16th birthday, Suzy’s journey unfolds, proving that the road not travelled led her to a life she wouldn’t change for anything.”
“Mary Katherine chose this month’s prompt, thinking about how our lives’ trajectories are so often determined by a few key decisions, often when we are too young to have the benefit of our own experience or perspective. See if her reflections make you think of those pivotal points in your own life, and how things might have gone differently, for better or for worse…Find out here.”
“Debbie misread this prompt and so has gone on and on about the road less travelled in her post – the way she came to be a teacher via a different route than most would take. As she shows, the road less travelled isn’t always easy; it requires courage to step away from the crowd and define your own story, but she is a firm believer that we should celebrate the beauty of forging our own paths.”
“For this month’s prompt, Leslie is briefly reflecting on what might have been while being cautious not to spend too much time looking back as that is not the direction we’re moving in.”
“Gail from Is This Mutton took a different view, looking at two roads she was forced to take. How did they turn out? The result is surprising.”
And, now, it’s your turn!
If you’d like to link up your imagination posts, please pop over to Gail’s blog, Is This Mutton, for the link up!
Wonderful prompt and wonderful post!
Might even inspire me to write something myself. 🙂
Oh, I hope you do and let me know which of your blogs it’s on! I’m sure it will be a fascinating read!
I often think of having missed out on a true college experience too as I had dreams of living in a dorm and studying abroad but when the time came for both I completely chickened out… I know I missed out on a lot never having stepped a foot in a dorm room. As a commuter I basically just showed up, went to class, and went back home. I don’t even have a single friendship from college because I never reached out to anyone… and yet I don’t really regret it. I think all those past choices led to me where I am today and I like who I am, where I am, and all that I have accomplished. But I’m thrilled that my boys seem ready to embrace all those experiences I was too shy to and I’ll get to hear all about it through their stories.
Your experience sounds a lot like mine. I did make some college friends, but they only lasted for the one or two classes we’d have together. And, I think most of them were adults as well rather than right out of high school. I think your life is quite wonderful, Joanne!
Thanks so much for coming by!
Fantastic post in response to the prompt, Marsha. I didn’t go to university and become a teacher, because my parents thought it a waste because I would probably get married and have children anyway. I love your thought about ‘All the rest have been little meanderings that led me back to the main road.’ For me that is true and although I didn’t get a degree in teaching I did teach ballet, taught others how to prepare tax returns, became a life coach and more. I really enjoyed getting to know you more through your story.
Thank you, Sue. Your words mean a lot to me. I had never talked about college with my dad so I don’t really know his thoughts. I was always at the top of my class so maybe he just assumed I would go. But, again, it wasn’t exactly the norm in my family to go to college (regardless of gender). I think teachers exist in all realms of life so you have definitely been a teacher.
This was a tough prompt, but I’ve learned so much about all of us (myself included).
I really love this line “I can regret those lost experiences, but I will never regret the road I did take.” Of course maybe you wouldn’t have made friends for life. Maybe you would have found it isolating or developed a drinking problem or who knows…My kids Uni experience is very different to mine. It’s quite an eye openner what I thought was a general expereince was more specific to my particular Uni (or also time). Great prompt and great post.
Thank you, Lydia. I am so glad you got that line…I thought it summed up my life pretty well with regard to this prompt. All three of my kids had completely different experiences so it does depend on the person, place, and time.
I had no idea about your life path! That is fascinating. You are a rock star for finishing college so quickly with 3 young children! Wow! This was a very interesting post!
Thanks, Laura! I was definitely an unconventional student when I did go to college. Honestly, learning comes very easily to me (except for technology re: my blog) so that part wasn’t a problem. My biggest problem (besides getting the classes in the right order) was childcare.
Marsha, I am so glad yo wrote this post! So honest and straight from the heart. I had no idea you were married so young. When I was in high school no one ever talked to me about going to college – I thought it was for really rich people or really smart people and I was neither. It was not until my SENIOR year – half way through the year no less, that my guidance counselor mentioned college to me. Needless to say I am forever grateful but boy, my life would have been very different!
xo,
Kellyann
Thanks, Kellyann! I would actually make appointments to talk to a guidance counselor to see what they could tell me. And, they told me exactly what I put in my post. I graduated second in my class (darn Glee Club) so I probably would have received some scholarships. But, part of the blame is on me because I honestly did make up my mind when my German teacher said that. But, I’m so glad my life is as rich as it is because I didn’t take that road.
I like how you ended it. Sure, we could have done a lot of things differently, and it would have changed many things for sure. But looking at the fact that our lives are blessed makes the choices we did make wonderful,
XOXO
Jodie
http://www.jtouchofstyle.com
Thanks, Jodie! I was really hoping I got that point across. Honestly, the only road I didn’t take was not going away to college.
I did enjoy reading how you interpreted te writing prompt Marsha. Yes we can look back as to how things may have turned out but as you say is there a point if you are happy with your life . Well done though on getting that degree with your young family and then teaching for so many years. My daughter in law is doing the same at present . BTW I did participate this time but somehow my summary didn’t come through.
Thanks, Jill. I will pop over to your blog this weekend to read your post. Sometimes, things get lost in a long email thread. Good luck to your daughter-in-law. It’s worth it in the long run though it may be tough while doing so. I’m so glad it came across that I do love my life and don’t regret the road not taken.
My position was the reverse – my father didn’t want me to go to university/college. I haven’t regretted it too much, although I do wish I’d studied at home in later life with the Open University like one of my friends did. Enjoyed your post. You made it to college – and you went at a very challenging time, with young children. Wasn’t it a fascinating prompt!
My dad passed before we ever even talked about college. I was a really good student (top of my class) so my guess would be he thought I would attend college after graduation. It didn’t seem that challenging at the time, but looking back, I’m rather amazed at myself! My youngest was in Kindergarten the year I graduated. For one year, I actually taught at the school all three of them attended.
This was a very good prompt. I’ve loved reading everyone’s posts.
Thanks, Gail!
Marsha, what a beautiful story for this prompt. I had no idea you were married so young! I did have the “traditional” college experience and honestly, it didn’t do much for me! LOL I took so many different roads to end up in my most wonderful life and I wouldn’t change a thing about a thing because it has led me here!
Shelbee
Thanks, Shelbee! I have had a pretty boring life and really only had that one road not taken! But, like you, I think we’re all the results of each experience we’ve had.
Oh wow, Marsha, you too went to college later in life. Yup that’s exactly what I did – so wow again, as we do have a lot of similarities. Instead of university I trained as a nurse which wasn’t a degree course then (it is now). But I always yearned for some academic stimulation and so I went when I was 37 graduating in 3 years at the age of 40. And then did nothing at all to do with the degree, which was International relations but as they say it does train the mind.
And look at your lovely family. Yes you married young but how great it must be to have your loved ones. And who knows what or where our roads not taken would have taken us! What a great subject this month’s theme was!
Thank you so much, Penny! It’s a bit different going to college/university when you’re older and have children. But, I think that parental experience made me a much better teacher than if I’d not had my kiddos first. I hadn’t realized you’d gone to college later in life…three years is an amazing accomplishment!
I hesitated to write about this particular road not taken, but I truly had no other.
“I can regret those lost experiences, but I will never regret the road I did take. I love my family and my life.” So beautifully written, Marsha! And true. There are a million ways your life could’ve gone, but then you might not have what you have now- like your amazing family! Thank you for sharing this road not taken story with us!
-Ashley
Le Stylo Rouge
Thank you so much, Ashley. I was hoping I would get across the idea that I am extremely happy in my life as it is now. But, truly, my only road not taken was not going to college.
I have MAD respect for “non-traditional students”, who manage to juggle classwork, motherhood, home life and a marriage. Being a carefree 20-yr old in the dorm was nothing compared to that! You really did “have it all” in the end. We were also the last generation that could go to school full time and get a degree without having a rich family or having a lifetime of student debt – not that it still didn’t take money and a heck of a lot of part-time jobs and working all summer…Anyway, the most important thing is being happy with how it all turned out – and you are!
Thanks, MK! It truly was a juggling act at times as Mike was also going to school at night. Kids would laugh today at how we registered for classes, too! We had to carry around punch cards and paper booklets of the classes offered just in case the class we wanted was filled. But, I’m so glad I did it. I also think being a parent made me a better teacher in the end. Hmmm…do you think we were the last generation to be able to do that? My kids all went. I mean, in the end, we paid their student loans as a graduation gift. All three went to private colleges where the endowments provided far more scholarship opportunities than the state schools did. Wow! I just checked, and my son’s alma mater, Wabash College, now costs $66K a year! That’s crazy! More than a quarter of a million dollars for a liberal arts degree!
I’m so glad you suggested this prompt. It was fascinating to read everyone’s take on it!
Very interesting. Sometimes, we wonder “what if??” if we had made different decisions in life but I believe that our maker put our eyes where they are because our maker wanted us to good forward and not backward.
Thanks, Patrick. It really is easy to get caught up in the what ifs. I never thought of our eyes facing forward and not backward. Words of wisdom!
What a fabulous response for this prompt Marsha! I loved all your ‘inside your head’ thoughts so many thanks for sharing them with us. We are really very similar in a lot fo ways and this prompt has been wonderful in learning so much more about all of us and as you say about ourselves as well. Thought provoking, challenging but yet interesting and insightful as well. Great post!!!
Thank you so much, Debbie! It was kind of tough to write, but, even as I was writing it, I knew I really was OK with not taking that road. I have loved each of the prompts because I’ve learned so much about our group and myself. And, I am so glad most of them are open to interpretation. That makes for lots of different kinds of answers.
Thank you so much for this heartfelt post! I had similar feeling about me not going all the way into music. But I don’t regret having my two children and the blessings that came from that.
https://www.kathrineeldridge.com
Thank you, Kathrine! I think I am so lucky that I really only had one road not taken in my life. I mean there have been decisions to make, but I’ve really taken most of the roads I wanted. And, like you say, if we had taken that road, we may not have the blessings we do have.
Lovely to see you as a bride Marsha. Such a nice post xx Jacqui x
Thank you, Jacqui! I am glad you enjoyed it.
I am so thankful you shared this part of your life with us. What an amazing woman you are. I don’t know how you managed college with 3 little ones at home. My hat goes off to you. I got my Master’s as a single mom with two teen girls and it was no fun. But I could sometimes reason with them!! Bless your heart. You are something!!
I hope you can begin to travel some now that you are retired. I married too early, too, and should have enjoyed being my own person for a while instead of going from my parents’ control/supervision to my husband’s. But I wouldn’t undo any of it if it meant that I wouldn’t have my daughters or have eventually met PC.
I know you were a fabulous mom and a very dedicated teacher. I am honored to call you friend. Thank you for sharing again. And thank you for the glimpse at your beautiful family.
Thank you, Leslie! Honestly, the first couple of semesters, I only took two or three classes. I studied when they napped or were at preschool. Mike was in school most nights, too. But, I loved every minute of it. I love learning…can you tell? But, I didn’t form any kinds of friendships that lasted beyond a semester or two, and I regret that.
I have been retired for almost 12 years. That amazes me even as I type it. I wish we had traveled so much more back then. Now, when Mike doesn’t feel up to it, I feel like I need to stay home. You are exactly right about the roads leading to our families.
You are the sweetest, my friend! You are an amazing woman who has accomplished so much…single mom at times…but always loving! I’m so glad you’re in my life even if it’s just virtually…for now.