Have I just been faking it?
Ok, so I’ve been blogging for a few weeks now…almost a month already! Yay, me! And, I’ve been working really hard to come up with stylish (?) outfits to photograph and post. But, today, as I was pulling the pieces for the photoshoot (yeah, I’m gonna call it that even though it is laughable to do so), something occurred to me. I’ve been creating these outfits, but they take work. Should wearing clothes take work? Am I pushing myself out of my comfort zone? Or, am I being untrue to myself?
Fake it til you make it!?
I’ve been grabbing multitudes of necklaces, scarves, and bracelets and adding them to skirts and tops and dusters and dresses and jeans and, well, you get the idea. But, am I doing this because I’m trying to emulate other bloggers? If I’m working this hard to create a look, am I being true to myself? Or, am I stretching and growing my fashion sense? Care to guess my astrological sign? If you guessed Libra, you would be right! I am forever on the seesaw! I see both sides of an argument; I always had trouble distinguishing opinions from facts (that’s a fourth grade reference…not a news article).
What does this have to do with my blog?
I guess it means I need to take the pressure and stress off of myself when I choose clothing to photograph. So, you may see a slight pulling back from lots and lots of bracelets. In my real life, I am lucky if I put earrings in on a daily basis. In fact, during the height of the pandemic, I wasn’t wearing earrings at all, and I struggled to get earrings in the first few times. Now, I try to put them in at least four or five times a day. But, and here I go being a Libra again, Debbie, the former Fashion Fairy, just wrote a really compelling post about the necessity of getting dressed.every.damned.day! You can read it here https://yourstyledstory.com/every-day-is-a-celebration-why-getting-dressed-matters/ And, that has made me think I need to dress for me.
Why am I this way?
In my former life as a teacher, I dressed up every day with the exception of Fridays. Fridays were jeans day at my school. I kinda dreaded them because I have always been so much more comfortable in skirts and dresses. I feel more completely me. Once I retired (and lost 60 pounds), I wasn’t really sure how to dress. After losing those 60 pounds, I discovered this new curvy body that I wanted to dress, and I enjoyed the next two years. Along came a move, life, aging, etc, and I put on a few…some…several of those pounds. I haven’t enjoyed getting dressed much in the last few years. And, then the pandemic arrived.
I am an introverted extrovert or an extroverted introvert…either way, I enjoy people in small doses. And, I am shy, painfully shy. People who know me find that amazing. But, I’ve covered it up over the years and have forced myself into social situations. With a move far away (ok…120 miles or so) from the area where I grew up, I have found myself alone and lonely. Nigel, on the other hand, doesn’t mind being just the two of us. We decided to isolate when the pandemic hit, and I found myself cut off from the few social outlets I’d had. Put that together with a slight inclination to depression and you get…not getting dressed for days. I mean, I showered, but I just climbed right back into my pajamas. I didn’t wear makeup or do anything with my hair (which was really wonderful for it).
And, then, something happened. I don’t know what it was. But, I decided I needed to do something, or I was just going to fall further and further into that nasty rut. I started slowly…putting on real clothes. Granted, they were jeans and a sweater, but they were actual clothing! Then, I started putting on the makeup. Finally, with doing my hair, I was back. But, back to what?
Dressing for me
After my mini-epiphany, I decided to start wearing skirts and dresses at least on the weekends. Now, I’m adding them in during the weeks, too. In that former life, I never dressed for men or women or even for Nigel. I dressed for me! And, I almost always…probably 99.5% of the time…loved what I wore. Did I look fabulous or even good all of the time? Probably not. I’m sure there were plenty of naysayers down the hall who whispered, “What the heck is she wearing? Does she honestly think that looks good?” But, you know what? I didn’t care. Somewhere along the way, since retirement, I’ve lost that feeling of not caring. But, at the ripe old age of almost 64, I’m back to not caring about what others like or not. That’s probably a weird thing for any blogger, let alone a brand new one, to say. This is my blog, and in trying to come up with posts, I lost sight of one of the reasons why I started it. I want to show how I wear MY clothes…the ones that make me feel pretty and the ones I love (whether or not they truly make me look pretty).
Now, before you think this is a condemnation of other bloggers who do wear lots of scarves, necklaces, and bracelets, stop. It isn’t at all. I love reading and seeing those combinations. I like to try those things out. And, I’m not going to stop wearing scarves, necklaces, and bracelets. In fact, I was wearing multiple strands of necklaces way back in the day and always had an arm party going on with my bracelets. I just was working waaaay too hard to come up with those things for the blog when I really wanted to showcase the clothes. Does that make sense? I hope so.
What can you expect to see?
These boots…ah, how I love these boots!
You can expect to see a lot of what you’ve already been seeing. I’ll be trying to up my game only if it’s what I really want to do with that specific outfit. One of the things I’ve always believed is if you’re working too hard to make something happen, you probably should take a step back and examine your motivation. So, I’ll still be wearing multiple accessories with some outfits, and, with other outfits, I’ll let the clothing do the talking.
The Lewk
This dress is from April Cornell (of course, it is). It’s an oldy but a goody. I love the epaulets and the bands across the bodice. Those buttons are non-functioning and are cloth covered. Unfortunately, it doesn’t have pockets! I had always planned to chop it off and make it at or slightly above my knees, but I never got around to it. I’m still on the fence (Libra alert) about it. The boots are old, old, old Borns. I wish I could find these again. I have them in a wonderful brown leather, too. My necklace and bracelet were gifts from Nigel several years ago. They might be EFFY, but I don’t remember. The earrings are not pictured. This past week, Nigel surprised me and bought me diamond studs. They are something I’ve always wanted but never thought I’d get. Needless to say, I am and was overwhelmed. After almost 50 years, the man still surprises me!
Wrap it up, Marsha!
So, here we are…a month into blogging, and I’m already confused about the direction of my blog. Or, am I? I think I may stumble a time or two or a dozen, but, in the end, I’m connecting with such an amazing community. Making connections with other people, learning a new skill (oh, lots and lots of learning), and pushing myself a bit out of my comfort zone are some of the reasons I began blogging. And, I think I’m meeting those goals. How about you? Do you fake it til you make it? Who do you dress for? Yourself? Other women? Men? Let’s have a conversation! I love reading your comments, and I’ll reply. Honest, I will!
Great post. I sometimes felt like this in the early day. I think sometimes you can overthink things. I now tend to just wear what I love and feel comfortable in as I am not too much of an accessories person. I love this look polka dots are my favourites and I love wearing boots with dresses. Your blog is great and I would never have guessed you only started it a month ago! Keep up the great work and I am off now to take a look around your blog 🙂
Thanks, Claire! I’m sure, as I go along, I’ll change my approach again! Thanks for the compliment about the blog. I’ve thought about it for years, but never really thought I’d actually start one! I hope you enjoy it!
I love what Claire said because I can start to overthink it too some days. Even just the fact if something is the right proportions or not.
Yet it does come down to liking it ourselves! Then again if we don’t try new things we will become stagnant!!
Xoox
Jodie
http://www.jtouchofstyle.com
I have definitely been trying new things…lots of them are because of you! I do love trying different looks with the same clothes, using different accessories and such. But, I was finding that I wasn’t being authentic to me for my blog posts. I was trying way too hard to come up with a look. I do think we have to keep changing and trying different things because life is boring then, right? I’m experimenting with belts and trying to get those proportions right. I do think the 1/3 – 2/3 proportion works well, but I try not to stress over it too much.
Thanks, as always, for supporting me, Jodie!
I feel this post so much Marsha! The “introvert extrovert” thing and also I have recently also started to dress for myself, wear things that look and feel good, even though there are many days I don’t see a soul except my hubby and dogs, lol. I love reading your blog. Looking forward to reading more. ❤
Awwww, Jennie, thanks so much for commenting! The first thing that comes to my mind is that I would never have known you were an introverted extrovert (or vice versa), but that’s kinda the way it is, right? I’m not sure if you read the article my friend, Debbie, wrote, but she makes some really great points. We need to dress for ourselves especially when we’re not having a wonderful day. I am in awe of your gardening expertise, and I’m super jealous of all of the land you have! Thanks for reading my blog. I hope you keep enjoying it!
Marsha, of COURSE you are a Libra – so am I! And so much of what you’ve expressed are things that I’ve also pondered. I dress for myself, but I also dress for my “audience” which could be my coworkers, random people on the street and of course, my blog readers. Maybe you need to turn your thoughts around (as a Libra, I know you do this already), and instead of putting together outfits for a post, just take pictures of what you actually wear, or what you WOULD wear. I agree with the above commenters and the “overthinking it” aspect of this. Should wearing clothes take work? I don’t like the word “should” there – it implies judgment (internal). How about “Does wearing clothes take work?” – well, yes, it does. Doing any kind of self-care – and getting dressed totally counts! – takes time, effort and work! What we put on our bodies matters, whether we’re expressing ourselves artistically or just covering our naughty bits.
You sound like you want to present always-perfect lewks (love that), but why not dress for yourself, and then see how you feel? Adjust, rinse, repeat. I’ve always recorded every outfit I’ve worn (not my around-the-house clothes), and it’s helped me grow in my style to hear the feedback, look at my pics more objectively (instead of zeroing in on my perceived flaws), and to really enjoy creating an outfit that I’m going to enjoy wearing. Ultimately, if it feels like work, then maybe you need to rethink how you dress? Have a glass of wine, and look at your closet. What do WANT to wear? Now, put something with it, and so on…create outfits that you feel good in.
There’s nothing wrong with emulating or being inspired by other bloggers – we have to try things and see what works, right? Why reinvent the wheel if someone else has a shortcut outfit, etc.? I was also surprised that you’ve only been blogging a short while! You’re a pro at this! 🙂
BTW, I’m an introvert who’s learned to be extroverted. I completely get it.
Oh, Sheila, we just need to sit down and have a cup of tea! How fun that you are a Libra, too! Yes, I battle myself coming and going! I guess one of my problems is I rarely go anywhere! Even before this dang pandemic, it wasn’t like I had a destination in mind. I always dressed up for church, though not many do these days. I live in this strange suburb without any real downtown area and no cultural outlets at all! We do go to the art museum quite a bit…pick a gallery, wander around…which reminds me, I need to renew that membership. Downtown Indianapolis is a zoo right now with all of the construction going on and one way streets that dead end! I just need to expand my horizons!
I like the idea of picking something and then building upon it. Trust me, you don’t want to see what I wear on a daily basis…denim shorts with a tee! Although, the days I decide to dress up and go for it, my mental health is so much better. You are such an artist at putting together all of the things! I have most everything on display and readily to hand except jewelry. Sometimes, I come across a piece and think, “Huh, I wonder when I got that!” Shame on me!
I am definitely inspired by other bloggers (including you), but I guess what I meant was I was trying to “be” them and not me. So, my outfits were coming over as false (to me). So, that’s what that entire post was about…but what’s interesting about saying just that?
You would think, after 60 some years of dressing myself, I’d know what to wear, right? Wrong, I have two sweaters in my closet I purchased last year because I just thought I could make them work. I knew when I bought them it was a mistake. Now, they will go to a clothing pantry and keep someone warm this winter…I hope!
Thanks, as ever, for commenting! If ever I make it back to the PNW, we will have to meet up! You will be wearing a pair of Fluevogs I will think I need, and I will be wearing…oh, who knows!
Cheers!
Marsha, I just came over from Shelbee’s blog. I think this is the first time I’ve happened onto a blog that is brand new! I’ll have to start at the beginning now!
Welcome, Jean! I know…I always seem to find blogs that are in their last days! I hope you enjoy reading my little venture into the blogosphere! And, I hope my blog isn’t in it’s last days!
Thanks for coming by!
I love this outfit on you! Those boots look great with that dress!
Thanks, Amy! I truly love these boots! They are my ode to our Harley riding days though I do still have my Harley boots. They are not comfortable for walking, but maybe I should do a post with them!! What do you think? Should the dress be shorter? I’m kind of leaning that way!
Thanks for coming by!
Great post! It is so important to dress for yourself! I love to dress up even I have absolutely nowhere to go! I am loving your polka dotted dress!
Life is a Shoe
Isn’t the dress magnificent? I’m an old Beatles fan (in both senses of the word), and I loved the Sgt. Pepper reference. It is so comfy yet dressy at the same time! I do love to dress up, and I’ve been doing it on a more regular basis. Here in Indiana, it’s been so hot I’m generally in a tee and shorts as I work in my gardens (fancy word for the plants I’ve got at the sides of the house).
Thanks so much for coming by!
Marsha, this is absolutely freaking brilliant! I love your honesty and your true Libran nature lol. I think I must have some Libra in me too lol (I’m actually a Capricorn) but I often have trouble making decisions and I always see both sides of an argument (well…I quite often do). I often wear jewellery for my style posts and then I’ll take it off in my staying at home!
I love that you’ve just started this blog, and I’m excited to see where it goes!
Hugs
Suzy (The Grey Brunette)
Wow! I am gobsmacked! My students often thought I was freaking hilarious, but I doubt a one of them thought me freaking brilliant! I used to discount my Libran tendencies, but they’re there all of the time! Some of that could be a wonky thyroid and menopause but I’m going with the Libra aspect!
I actually love jewelry, but it doesn’t play well when cleaning up after the dog! I’m claustrophobic so jewelry is and always has been one of the first things I remove! Isn’t that weird?
I am excited about the blog, too! It’s been a long time coming, but I have to admit I’m having the time of my life!
Thanks for coming by!
Marsha, I love your dress and boots. Don’t overthink things too much, if you love wearing lots of accessories, scarfs etc, do it and don’t worry about what people might say. It’s ok to experiment with the things in your wardrobe, otherwise how would you know what suits you and what’s not and what you like to wear with. I have a massive collection of accessories, scarves, jewellery etc and love trying them with different clothes, sometimes I wear pearls over plain white t-shirt and love it. Do whatever feels good for you. Blogging takes time and requires some preparation, it’s a perfect platform for meeting people of similar mind and express yourself. Good luck with that 🙂
lookingfabulousat50.blogspot.com.au
Thanks, Anna, for visiting my blog! I think I was just trying too hard in a couple of my posts and didn’t feel true to me. But, I do love wearing scarves and jewelry. And, I have so many scarves; they don’t get the love they deserve! Part of my problem is this sudden (ok, not so sudden) weight gain and feeling awkward in my clothes as well as taking photos.
Ooooh, I love that idea of pearls over white tees! I can’t wear my silver because it rubs off, but pearls…I just may have some! I am already discovering that blogging is opening up this whole new wonderful world of friendships!
Thanks for coming by!
I thought I had just stumbled across you recently, I didn’t know you’d been blogging for such a short time! You’re very good at it 🙂
Your post made me smile as I often have this feeling – I put together an outfit (nothing too Avant guard or trendy, but something I’d been inspired to wear from blogging) and then wonder if I hadn’t found blogs and blogging if I would wear it – if it’s truly me or if I’m just trying to emulate others. Sometimes I feel a bit “extra” in the school pick up line if other mums are in jeans and a tee and I’m in a print mixing or multi coloured outfit – but we should be able to have fun with fashion and wear what we want. I’ve recently rediscovered a pair of pink leopard print jeans in my wardrobe. Definitely a blogger purchase – they were trendy years ago (before I had kids!) and they feel a bit much sometimes for day to day wear – but they also make me happy so maybe deep at heart I’m a pink leopard print wearer! It’s just fun to try different things!
Thanks for joining the Weekday Wear Link Up! Hope you are having a good weekend! It’s another busy but fun one here 🙂
Thank you, Mica! I’m glad you found my blog. It may be that I spent over 20 years in the classroom spinning stories! It is a tough line, isn’t it? Sometimes, I feel like I really am my true self when I dress a little over the top. And, other times, I feel like I’m playing make-believe. I think the reality is I’m a bit of both. I do find myself consciously putting together different things than I would have maybe before. I’ve been stepping out of my comfort zone for many years now (thanks to Debbie at Your Styled Story when she was Fashion Fairy Dust). I do also feel a bit “extra”, but, hey! We’re giving people something to look at (and maybe talk about)! I think you are a pink leopard print wearer at heart, too!
Thanks so much for hosting the Link Up! I’m trying to figure out how to do so many things at once. I think I’m supposed to give your blog a mention, but Im not sure how to do that…sorry!
Our weekend will be hot and humid, but also quiet and peaceful (I hope!). Have a fabulous weekend with your family!