10 on the 10th: December!

Are you as amazed as I am that it’s time for December’s 10 on the 10th? Between deciding to build a house, list a house, wait for a house to be finished, and finally move, the first part of the year just plain drug…it was like an Amtrak train going uphill behind a freight train pulling eleventy million cars of molasses in January! But, after the move, the weeks and months have just flown by…let’s see, do I have another simile in me…like a greased banana peel on an oiled practically vertical slide! Seriously, I don’t know how we got from Labor Day to only about two weeks to Christmas! But, here we are, and it’s time for another game of 10 on the 10th (can you tell I’m writing this late at night)!

And, we’re off..

  1. About how many gifts do you purchase in the holiday season? This is a hard one because it varies from year to year. I typically buy anywhere from 5-6 gifts per person. I buy for my nine people (Nigel, my oldest son, his wife, his daughter, my daughter, her husband, her daughter, her son, and my youngest son). Many, many years ago, my side of the family decided not buy gifts for each other because number were off. Some of us had to buy more gifts than others, and we were all on the struggle bus economically. Nigel comes from a very large family so that stopped even before my family stopped. Prior to stopping, we did the proverbial gift exchanges. Most times, we’d get the name of relatives we really didn’t know that well. And, buying those kinds of gifts is hard!
  2. Who is the hardest person for whom you buy presents? My Nigel is definitely the hardest person. He grew up in an economically disadvantaged family and never learned how to accept a gift. My mom was the only person from whom he willingly accepted gifts.
  3. How do you respond to a gift you really don’t like? I fake it. Honestly, I don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings. I smile and act excited even if I’m cringing or even crying on the inside. What good does it do anyone to make them feel badly about their gift selection? This doesn’t happen very often at all. Now, if the person is Nigel…well, we just take it back and get the right gift! Let’s face it, that money is all coming out of the same pot so I might as well get the gift I want!
  4. What kinds of gifts do you consider to be the best to give or receive? I think the best gifts to give or receive are the gifts the person truly wants. I know this is kind of a cop-out answer, but it’s the best I’ve got to give. I also know many people would say a handmade gift is the best. But, if you’re not into handmade gifts, then it’s not the best one to either give or receive, right? I do spend lots of time trying to figure out what my people want. And, I start begging for lists right after Halloween!
  5. What kinds of gifts do you consider the worst to give or receive? I think some people would say a gift card. I don’t think those are that bad. I think the worst gift to give or receive is one that isn’t given sincerely. If you honestly don’t want to give a person a gift, but feel compelled to do so, you’re doing it with a less than happy heart. I don’t want that kind of gift (though I think I’ve gotten a few from Nigel…the ones I’ve guilted him in to buying…yes, I admit it). I also know there are times you really do have to give a gift even when it’s not done sincerely. I try very hard to come up with something that person would still want to receive. Did I even answer the question? I don’t think so…but it’s all I’ve got!
  6. What gift would you never give ever? Hmmm…I should have written which gift should I never ever receive! Nigel knows that that is! Can you guess? An appliance…small, medium, or large…an appliance from Nigel is a humongous NO NO!! But, what gift would I never ever give? I don’t know that there is a gift I would never give. OK, here I go being philosophical again! I think the gift I would never ever give is one my person wouldn’t want. Oh, wait! I have an answer…I did give a gift the person didn’t want! My youngest wanted giant Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (or was it a Walkman) one year. We bought him a bike. His response? It was a lot like Charlie Brown’s famous line: “I got a rock.” Many years later, a toy store was going out of business, and I was able to snag all four of them for him…I think he may have been in his twenties at the time! He still has them!
  7. What is your process for selecting a gift? I honestly don’t have a process. I ask for lists. I go shopping. I look for what I know my people like. I buy it. That sounds kind of cold and heartless. But, I spend oodles of time looking, touching (the fabrics, people!), and thinking. And, I keep receipts or get gift receipts so my people can return items they don’t like. I don’t want them keeping something that isn’t just right for them. They have all been with me for enough years they know it won’t hurt my feelings in the least to get the right thing if I’ve missed the mark!
  8. What is the best gift you’ve ever gotten? Obviously, it should be the 2009 Saturn Sky Nigel bought me. But, the best gift I’ve ever gotten was the pair of ice skates my dad bought me decades ago. I wrote about it here. I just went back and read that whole post. Tears are now streaming down my face…both happy and sad ones. I find myself really missing my dad right now which is odd because he’s been gone for 48 years. But, at least, he and Mom are together.
  9. What is the best gift you’ve ever given? This is a hard one, too. I like to think every gift I’ve ever given has been the best. I think the best gift I’ve given is the gift of compassion. All three of my kids have the biggest hearts and are really wonderful people. They consistently give to the less fortunate without any fanfare and only really tell me about it when I ask how their days go. This is going to sound like I’m Mother of the Year (trust me on this one, I’m not). My youngest son lives in a neighborhood on the edge of gentrification in Indianapolis. That means there are some spotty places. He frequents a grocery store where he often comes across men who may or may not be homeless. On more than one occasion, they have asked him for some money because they are hungry. He doesn’t give them money. He does go into the store and buys them a complete warm meal. One time, he noticed the man he was talking with (because he acknowledges their humanity, too) was shivering and in a hoodie. He happened to have a winter coat in his trunk. He asked the man if he’d accept a coat. And, this man walked away with not only a warm dinner but also a warm coat. I am so proud of my kids because they see a need and then do something to fulfill it.
  10. Would you ever or have you ever re-gifted something? Without a doubt, I have. I think those have usually been at white elephant occasions. I can’t think of any other times, but that’s not saying there haven’t been any!

Wrap it up, Marsha!

Once again, I managed to come up with questions that I struggled to answer! And, some of them…maybe I didn’t really answer! So, can we talk? How is your holiday gift giving going? Do you celebrate lots of different holidays at this time of year? Isn’t there one spawned by the Seinfeld show (I was never a fan)? Are you finished or just beginning? Please leave a comment or two, and we can talk! I promise to respond as quickly as possible!

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14 Comments

  1. Your share about your children was very beautiful. I hope that I am teaching Wyatt to be as compassionate and giving! And I am off to read about your ice skates!

    • Thank you, Erin! I have no doubt you are teaching Wyatt the same things! You’ll have to let me know what you think about my ice skates post!

  2. It’s amazing to go back and try to analyze the gifts we’ve both gotten and given. But sometimes I think we overthink it too. I have to admit that some of my favorite gifts have been things I didn’t even think I wanted or knew about.
    BTW, we need to get you an editorial calendar!! That’s how you keep the days straight with your blogging, haha.
    XOXO
    Jodie

    • You are so right about gifts, Jodie! I think you may be wise in giving experiences now rather than things. But, I’m not sure my grands would like that as much!

      Oh, hahaha!!! I am so NOT a calendar person. I only just recently began using the calendar on my phone! I honestly have never been a calendar person even when I was teaching. I think, at heart, I’m just too much of a free spirit!

  3. Glad I was able to jog your memory! Hearing how sweet your kids are is so heart warming; I don’t usually give any money to homeless people either but I have bought bags of groceries and handed out gloves/ chapstick, etc. before.

    • Thanks for reminding me, Joanne! I honestly kept wondering what the heck I was supposed to be doing on December 10!! My kiddos are amazing! I would love to claim it came from me, but I think a lot of it is just innate to them! Oh, I didn’t think about chapstick! Great idea!

  4. I loved your answers. I used to hate gift cards but now I value them, particularly for Kindle because books have got so expensive. Loved your answer about your kids. You should be very proud of them.

    • Thanks so much, Gail! I love gift cards because they can be used to get the right thing. You just never know when they’ll come in handy! And, I am very proud of my kids! They’ve turned out quite well!

  5. I love all your thoughtful responses! Gift giving and receiving is one of my love languages so I take it seriously. My husband is also the hardest to buy for.

    https://www.kathrineeldridge.com

    • Aha!!! I knew I liked you! Gift giving is definitely one of my love languages. Unfortunately, that is not one of my husband’s as far as receiving! He is the worst to buy for! I really need to get busy and figure that out!!!

      Thanks so much, Kathrine!

  6. This was fun to read! I try to do a mix of gifts I think of and gifts from a wish list. That way (hopefully) the receiver will be sure to get something they like. I don’t care if they return things either.

    • Thanks, Laura! I do the same. It’s not much fun if you know everything in the boxes, right? Surprises are always a good thing!

  7. Marsha, I really enjoyed reading your answers! Number 9 made me cry as well as the part about your dad. My dad has been gone 28 years and I recently am missing him a lot as well. Maybe the holidays do that to us! And I bet your kids would call you Mother of the Year even if you wouldn’t’ consider yourself as such!

    Shelbee

    • Awww, I’m sorry for making you cry, Shelbee! But, I was just so overwhelmed with pride when Jordan told me what he’d done. He’s such a good person and always looking out for the underdog. It’s strange how I can go for weeks and even months without even thinking about my dad (I was 16 when he died) and then, bam! I just think about him constantly. The other day, I was doing something and though, “Oh, I need to call Mom and tell her…” She’s been gone almost 20 years. I guess it just means we had a wonderful relationship (though many would dispute that one)! Well, I think it would depend on the day whether or not they would call me Mother of the Year!!!