My own advice…
I love to give advice. Just ask Nigel. Well, he’d probably say I nag more than I give him advice. My kids will tell you I give them too much advice. The one person who never listens to my advice? Me! Nigel complained for a while about his leg hurting, and I told him to go to the doctor. He went. My left knee (you know, the one I twisted on the plane on the way to Ireland) has been hurting a lot. Have I called the doctor? No, no, I have not! Update: I do have an appointment to see the doctor in a week or two.
Pithy statements from me…
I read a lot of blogs. One time, I left the following comment on Shelbee’s blog: ”I think being ourselves is one of the best gifts we can give each other.” Now, I don’t really remember why I said that or even what her post was about. But, I’ve been reading a book recommended by Anne, and it seems to be about really digging deep and getting to know yourself. I’m only a few pages in so that may not be the gist of the book at all. The point here is that I do believe being ourselves is one of the best gifts we can give each other. But, I sometimes forget exactly who I am. Shelbee has also told me I’m a style chameleon (she’s so smart). I’m beginning to think style is not the only arena in which I’m a chameleon. I seem to shift depending on who I’m with. Is that normal? Because, honestly, that’s really the only way I know to be.
Another good one…
Recently, I left this comment on Jodie’s post: “Fashion isn’t static, it’s fun.” I wrote that because, once again, I believe it. I think it’s also why Shelbee’s description of me as a chameleon works so well. Once upon a time, I would have said my style was classic and timeless. And, my closet full of Talbots Charming Cardigans, pencil skirts, and nice blouses would have been all the evidence you would need. When I retired in 2012 (I can’t believe it’s been that long), it took me a few years to stop buying “teacher clothes.” That, of course, meant I had a closet full of clothes that didn’t fit my non-teacher lifestyle.
My mantra…
I do have a mantra, well, not really a mantra, more a saying for living my life. It’s “If it’s worth doing, it’s worth doing well.” I am pretty sure I didn’t make that up…hahaha!! But, it’s how I’ve lived my life since high school, if not before that. Does that mean I’m super duper good at everything I do. Well, obviously not, if you’ve been reading the blog for very long. But, I try to do the best I can. Seriously, though, if you’re going to do something, why wouldn’t you give it everything you’ve got?
Still…
There are times, though, I think I “phone it in”…not here on the blog, but in life. I kinda thought, by the time I hit my 60s, I’d have life figured out. I was wrong! I have no better idea today than I did when I was in my 20s. I don’t know the meaning of life (like anyone does). I don’t really know how to be content with my life. I keep thinking there’s got to be something else. My faith helps, but I have so many questions for The Big Guy when I meet up with Him in the distant future. I wonder why bad things happen to good people. I wonder why good things happen to bad people. Again, I don’t have the answers, but I do wonder.
The outfit…
Y’all know I love a good shirtdress. This, however, is not a shirtdress. It’s a popover (or is that used solely for tops). Anyway, you pull it on over your head. It’s from J Jill. The checks are blue and ivory though they seem more an off white than what I think of ivory. And, my friends, it has pockets! Believe it or not, I’m wearing a petite! This pretty dress is perfect for summer because it’s lightweight and flowy. That air will definitely circulate. It’s also fun so I’m following one of my pieces of advice!
The Lewk!
These are my tried and true Born wedges. I love that my foot stays put in them because of that slope of the wedge. The necklace and earrings are from last summer and came from J Jill. The bracelet is an old Stella & Dot.
Wrap it up, Marsha!
I’m sitting in the surgery waiting room as I write this post. Nigel is having that left hip replaced, and I’m so very hopeful this gives him so much more mobility. He’s been scared, anxious, and so worried that it will be worse rather than better. I’m putting my faith in God and in the surgeon that this will end up with a very positive result. If you’re the praying type (no matter your belief system), I’d be deeply appreciative. So, can we talk? Do you often give out advice and then not follow it yourself? What is your best piece of advice in whatever area of life? How do you feel about shirtdresses (or, in this case, a popover)? Please leave me a comment or two, and we can talk. I promise to respond as quickly as I can.
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Marsha, I am praying for you and Nigel – I believe he will have a good outcome this time!
I am guilty of not always taking my own advice, I think we all are. It’s hard to be objective when it comes to ourselves. It’s like when you go to the salon and you get a great blow out or style – they can do that to your hair because they have a different perspective. They are standing up and have access to all angles while we have blind spots. Hope that makes sense – it’s how I grant myself some grace!
xo,
Kellyann
Thank you so much, Kellyann! I appreciate the prayers. Oh, that’s such a great way of thinking about it. I always think it would be wonderful if I could take my head off and do my hair. It would be so much easier except I wouldn’t be able to see, would I? We are definitely our own worst critics as well as not listening to ourselves!
Sending my best thoughts!
I’m a pro at giving advice, but I’m trying to do it only if I’m asked directly or indirectly. Unsolicited advice is often not something I like (a lot on depending on who it is, though, or also the tone, but often because the advice is so obvious that I really didn’t need that – my favorite example is “have you tried giving your cat the pill in some food”, gee, over 30 years with cats and I never thought of doing that, eyeroll), so I do my best not to give it myself.
Do I listen to advice, yes, if I asked for it with the intention to follow it. For example, no one needs to me tell me I have to go to a doctor for this when I well know that myself, but am obviously too much of a coward or whatever else the reason may be.
By the way, I was curious. “Philip Stanhope, 4th Earl of Chesterfield said, “Whatever is worth doing at all, is worth doing well.””
The quote isn’t enough for me, though. You should do it as well as is possible for you at the time. We are not good at everything right away, we need practice. Take art for example. A lot of artists tell you to do bad art, it’s fine. Express yourself, learn through, practice, and maybe you will be good some day. And if you’re not, maybe you still had loads of fun which is already worth it.
I also have a thought on the chameleon. I’m not the same with everyone. That is because I have more than one side and I have people for those sides. I can get dark and macabre with my pal, but not my oldest friend, with her I’m silly and childish. It also has a lot to do with experience or how long I know someone. Aren’t we all like that in some way (serious question)?
https://catswire.blogspot.com/
Cat, you are so wise! Oh, the people who give you advice you already know…I think I’m one of those at times, though! We probably all are. I like the addition you made to Stanhope’s (or would he be Chesterfield) quote. That is so true. We learn by practice and failure. I like the having fun part of it, too.
I hadn’t really thought about that (the chameleon part). I’m definitely a different person with my best friends and more reserved with those I don’t know well. I’m also completely different with Mike. He’s not one for loud and rambunctious which I can definitely be with my besties!
Thanks, Cat!
Sending lots of healing thoughts and prayers for Nigel.
I’m such a fix-it girl that I’m always giving advice. However, I’ve been working hard at just listening lately. Dang, it’s hard.
But since we are talking advice, I would suggest you work hard to do exercises (the right ones, given by a professional), massages, and stretches for your knee. We are all connected by muscles, ligaments, and connective tissue, and while most Western doctors are quick to suggest surgery, it is not without its risks (just the anesthesia is hard on older people like us).
Rob and his shoulder is the perfect example…it’s taken years, but way better than surgery.
OXOX
Jodie
Thank you, Jodie! Oh, yeah…I don’t want surgery. I really just want to know what’s wrong with it so I can work on fixing it. I have a feeling I’ll end up with an MRI since the x-rays last year didn’t show anything. But, there’s definitely a problem.
Love this post, especially the outfits.https://www.bauchlefashion.com/2025/05/the-art-of-holding-yourself-together.html
Thank you, Heather! I appreciate the kind words. I’ll check out your post in a few!
I love this- one of the greatest gifts we can give each other is to be ourselves! So, so true. And freeing. Life is too short, right?
Digging this look- and totally agree that fashion isn’t static. I live by that!
Sending good get-well-soon vibes to Nigel. He’s got this!
-Ashley
Le Stylo Rouge
Thank you, Ashley! I didn’t even realize I’d written such great words until Shelbee told me! But, it is true and freeing…you’re so right! I love just having fun getting dressed. And, thank you for the good vibes for Nigel!
Oh Marsha, I wished I could talk to you in person, what a great conversations we could have. You are so much like me, or the other way round!
Love that dress! It looks very interesting! Enjoy your evening!
Thanks, Nancy! I think we would solve the world’s problems, have fun doing it, and look fabulous all at the same time! Thanks for the compliments on the dress. It’s so comfortable. I’ll be wearing it for years!
Oh yes, I seem to give out advice that I never take as well.. especially when it pertains to going to the doctor, dentist, etc… Basically anything where I need to call and make an appointment I will put off for as long as I possibly can. It’s awful! I’d be nagging my husband or kids to death if they did that. I hope Nigel’s surgery goes well!!
Thank you, Joanne! I am the same way about calling. I put it off and put it off. I don’t mind the actual going, but it’s making the doggone appointment that takes me forever. Is that fear of commitment? Hahaha!!!
Hi Marsha, I’m sending healing thoughts to Nigel (and you) for his surgery, I hope it all goes well! I must say you seem to be shrinking lately, and look lovely in that dress (and everything you wear). Your hair is looking lovely too. We’re all good at giving advice but terrible at taking our own advice I think. Take care and do what you have to do!!
Thank you, Debbie! The surgery went well, and we’re working on recovery. I’m learning to take cat naps as I’m dispensing meds every three hours around the clock. They make him a little confused so no way is he near them! Thank you for noticing. I’ve lost close to 40 pounds and am feeling wonderful! I’m working at figuring out this thinning hair…it’s just so blah without messing about with it for ages! Advice is really one of those things we’re either good at or not, right?
Hope the op and recovery go well. The giving and receiving of advice is a whole kettle of fish that constantly moves depending on each situation!
Thank you so much, Rosie! The operation went well, and we’re into recovery mode now. Oh, I love that line…advice is a “kettle of fish that constantly moves!” It’s so very true!
In love with this classic dress! Sending prayers for Nigel. I enjoy hearing your honesty on the questions you have and leaning into your faith. We will never have it all figured out but I am comforted that there is something divine holding me.
https://www.kathrineeldridge.com
Thank you so much, Kathrine! My faith is very strong at this point in my life. There was a time when I misplaced it, but it is truly the bedrock of my life. It just seems like I should be more advanced in my self-knowledge at this point! And, yes, I love this dress, too!
I’m really good at giving advice, but not so much for myself. Sending prayers to Nigel. I hope his procedure is successful and he has a speedy recovery. I love your dress! It’s adorable and breezy!
Jill – Doused in Pink
Thanks, Jill! The procedure went well. It was the afterward that didn’t go so well. But, we’re home now and settling into a new pattern of life for a bit. I do love this dress and can’t wait to wear it to the museum or just out and about!
This will be so nice on hot summer days! Love the classic gingham. I don’t like to take advice much, but sometimes after thinking about it, I do realize that the other person (typically my hubby) is right, lol! I feel like I am always a work in progress.
http://www.chezmireillefashiontravelmom.com
Thank you, Mireille! I think it will be, too. I love gingham, but I don’t have much of it. I remember trying to make a lime green cami with gingham…it didn’t turn out well! I think, if we’re honest, we’re all works in progress.
I thought about you guys yesterday and this morning. I hope that all went well. I will be praying.
I think that different friends just pull different things from us, if that makes sense? I am like that too. I am always me, always true to myself and my beliefs, etc, but I have different friends who fulfill different interests etc. Like I have zero friends around me in person who like to make things and I love to create things – it is one reason I started the Crafternoons with Lisa. 🙂
Thank you so much, Erin! Surgery went well, but we had a little hiccup. He’s now home and we’re adjusting to a new kind of normal for a few weeks.
Oh, that is such a good way of thinking about it. We are, indeed, different for our different friends. I saw a meme once that said friends come into your life for certain purposes and then stay or leave, depending on their purpose. I think I missed the crafternoon…I was probably napping. I promise I will drop in for one of them! I miss the talks!
Marsha, I love love love that necklace with your popover dress! Sending you and Nigel good vibes that you’ll start feeling better. Oh, I have to add that the theme of this post reminds me of a song Alice sings in the 1951 Disney Alice in Wonderland: “I give myself very good advice but I very seldom follow it. That explains the trouble that I’m always in…”
Thank you, Sally! You are the Queen of Accessories so that’s a high compliment! I love that Alice quote! It’s so true, isn’t it? Thanks, also, for the good vibes. They’re working!
Hi, Marsha – I have a hard time holding back from giving advice. That’s probably because I should do more active listening (reflecting back what is said) instead so that people can come to their own conclusions. Glad you made me think of this. I was surprised to see you have some favorite brown Born wedge sandals, because I do too! They’re a different style but they were a really good buy. They go with everything and I wear them a lot. My prayers are with you and Nigel for the most benevolent outcome from his surgery so that he gets his mobility back and can live life to the fullest. Take care – Angie, http://www.yourtrueselfblog.com
Thank you so much, Angie! I know active listening is so important to conversations, but I struggle with it, too! It’s good to know I’m in good company. Do you have these same Born wedge sandals? I love them because they are so doggone comfortable and go with just about everything! Thank you for the prayers. We are seeing some positive things already.
Praying for Nigel (and you) that surgery goes well and recovery is smooth and leaves him more mobility and less pain!
Thank you so much, Laura! Surgery went well. His recovery is going fairly well at this point.
Marsha, I love you so much! You are the one of the best people I have ever met in this very weird world. Oh, I have questions, too. So many questions! And very few answers. In fact, the only thing that I really truly know for a fact is that I don’t know much at all! Aging is such a strange and wonderful journey though, isn’t it? For me, I feel like every decade I learn exponentially more about myself and the world than the decade before. I am hoping by the time I reach my 150th birthday that I might know some more stuff. Until then, I will just try to be present in the moment and I will continue to do everything I do from a place of kindness and love. (We need a coffee date or something!) Oh, super cute dress, too! I love gingham. It always makes me feel peacefully nostalgic.
Shelbee
Shelbee, you have no idea how much this means to me as well as how much I needed to read it! I have lots more questions, but I guess I won’t find out the answers for a long, long time. I am not sure if I know myself better or not. I have always been kinda self-aware, but I still struggle with “Is this the real me, or a pretend me?” Does that makes sense? We definitely need a coffee (tea for me though) date! I love gingham, too, but have so little of it. It’s such a peaceful print.
I always give advice and don’t follow it. The biggest being: “Drink water! Hydration is so important!” Yesterday and Saturday I felt weird all day. I could barely stand part of the day and thought something was seriously wrong with me. I came home and started drinking water and coconut water (no it doesn’t taste great to me) and by bedtime (of course) I was so much better! I really struggle with taking care of myself even though I get after others to do that for themselves.
I am still praying for Nigel and you.
Thanks for the prayers, Lisa. We are doing about as well as can be expected. I am bad about drinking water, too. Is there something about coconut water that’s better? I’ve never had it. I’m glad you figured out you were dehydrated!
Praying for Nigel – that the surgery went well, that he’s comfortable during the recovery period and that the results are all you and he hoped for! I found myself nodding so frequently while reading your post! While I’m more comfortable in my own skin now that I’m in my 60’s, I also know that I still question so many things, just like I did when I was younger. That quote about “doing things well” fits me, too! I’m glad I’m that way but I also know that I’m putting added pressure on myself at the same time! Thanks for a fun read!
Thanks for the prayers, Laura! The surgery went well, and the recovery is going. Gosh, we share so many things in common. I do feel more comfortable in my 60s, but I sure wish I had some answers about all kinds of things!
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