Breaking the rules?

Who makes those rules anyway?

Ignore those big teeth! Focus on the eyes!

I googled “should older women wear colored eyeshadow”. The first four websites all came back with a resounding NO! I’m sure if they could have put a four letter expletive in front of it, they would have! According to these websites…I only briefly perused…a woman of my age (over 60) should refrain from colors like purple or blue and opt for neutrals in browns and greys! I have bought those colors and given them away after deciding they just don’t do me any favors. I’m not sure what your monitor is showing you, but I’m sporting purple, rust, and even a bright pink on my eyelids. Are they crepey? Oh, baby, of course, they are! I’m 64 years old! Do I even care? OK, I care a bit. I would love to have non-crepey eyelids, but I’m not going to spend $$$ on surgery (I think they probably perform removal of eye wrinkle surgeries). I’m gonna be that old lady your great-grandchild points to and says, “Great-granny, check out the old lady’s eyes!” And, they’re going to say it with awe! Because I am that awesome!

Now, you can focus on that toothy smile!

And, I’m also not supposed to wear bright red (or reddish) lipstick! It might settle into those lines around my mouth. The only thing that really bothers me about the lines around my lips is that someone might think I was a smoker. Nothing could be further from the truth. I have never smoked a day in my life and never will. The smile lines…well, those are there because, guess what? I smile! A lot! I love to smile. I think I used to creep my principal out a bit. He always questioned why I was smiling. I mentioned I spent the first part of my career as a special education teacher. I loved every minute of it, but it’s a difficult job. Now before you go thinking I’m an angel on earth (I am, but not for the reasons you think), my students had mild learning problems. They were, for the most part, completely in general education classes with support from me. The tough part was getting teachers to understand what a learning disability was and how it transferred to the classroom. So, while many days, I just wanted to curl up in a little ball and cry, I forced a smile on my face. As my dad always said, “Keep smiling. It will make them wonder what you’re up to!” And, that’s exactly what I did! Besides, smiling is truly one of those “fake it til you make it” endeavors. If you’re smiling, sooner or later, your mood will catch up to your smile! I know many of us have had to learn how to smize over the last several months (smize…my gorgeous relative, Tyra, came up with that neologism). I’m not sure my smize is as big as my smile, though!

But, I digress! Surprisingly, most of the articles I found indicated the “mature” woman could wear red, but there were many caveats. I don’t have time to read or even apply caveats to my life and lips! I’m going to wear my red lipstick because it makes me feel bold and happy!

Hmmm…let’s see…

My mom would have had a fit with my choice in jeans lately! How many of you remember Tough Skins from Sears? They were really rugged jeans and pants you could buy for your kids. I think they came with an already reinforced knee. My oldest son was a demon when it came to clothes! He had ADHD (well, I guess he still does) and was always on the move. He put holes in the knees of those Tough Skins. As quickly as he put holes in them, my mom would stick a patch on them! Hole…patch. Hole…patch! Now that I think about it, the Luderman women were big on patches! My grandma and one of my aunts had some jackets that were more patch than jacket! Anyway, I remember one of my kids getting a hole in the knee of their jeans and my mom insisted I needed to repair it. I said, “Oh, Mom, it’s the trend nowadays!” I don’t think it was. Hey, I was a trendsetter back then! I was too tired to repair a hole. I think I probably put some kind of iron patch on my daughter’s jeans though (most likely a flower or peace sign). Mom would have asked me what in the world I was doing buying jeans with holes already in them (not these jeans). I don’t think she would have even appreciated the ease of the raw hem. I love raw hem jeans and hate the thought of these going out of style! They are a short girl’s gift! Jeans too long…get a straight edge, a sharp pair of scissors and have at it! But, again, am I too old for raw edge jeans and heavily distressed jeans? What’s that you say? OK, shout it for the cheap seats now! NO! I AM NOT TOO OLD! Unless it’s cold, then the heavily distressed jeans go back on the shelf!

Are rules made to be broken?

OK, now that’s a trick question. Of course, some rules are made to be broken. Rules like no white after Labor Day or wearing navy with black. Here’s another good one…don’t wear two patterns together! Oh, I just found another…petite women shouldn’t wear maxi or midi skirts! Oh, and here’s one I think a few of you might just gasp at. Only cisgender women can wear dresses. I mean, have you seen Billy Porter in a dress? He might not be your cup of tea, but if we, as a community, say there are no fashion rules, don’t we have to embrace those who break fashion and cultural norms?

But, what rules shouldn’t be broken when it comes to fashion? Honestly, I’m not sure. Fashion is, by its nature, a fleeting thing. As Heidi Klum used to say (maybe she still does), “One day you’re in. The next day, you’re out.” It may be, in a few years, mixing patterns will be dated. And, the fashion sneaker trend may slowly fade away. I think there are fashion considerations. I wouldn’t wear white to a wedding unless the wedding party asked for that. I would follow the fashion rules as dictated by a church. By that I mean, if I am attending a function at a specific church and I’m asked to wear a head covering. I will wear a head covering. If another religious institution requires my shoulders be covered. I’ll comply with that. But, that’s just me. I also think there may be fashion rules as they pertain to professional life. With the pandemic and the resultant work from home culture, even those fashion rules may have certainly bent. Perhaps, you work in an office and have found, upon returning, your “work” clothes no longer work. Life, like fashion, is constantly evolving. Some times, that’s a good thing. Some times, it isn’t. Profound stuff here, today, folks!

Surprise!

Usually, when Nigel and I have a photoshoot, I plan a few outfits for future posts. Today was a late day so no quick change for Marsha! But, unlike almost every other photoshoot, I wore this outfit for the remainder of the day. I added the cardigan because it’s been cold and rainy here for the last several days. I am one of those people who loves cold, rainy days! I want to snuggle up in a cozy cardigan (miss that post? Not for long, here it is), drink some hot tea, and read a good book. I do that in warm weather, too, but it’s just different in cold weather, right? I am at that age (hello, menopause) when I’m constantly too hot unless I’m too cold. I’m rarely too hot in the cold temperatures. That probably means (since I’ve not done this in cold weather yet) photoshoots will consist of one look only! As I looked through the pictures, one thing hit me! Those are genuine joyous smiles! I don’t know why, but I was having a really good time during this photoshoot! A couple of actual guffaws actually rang out!

The Lewk!

EARRINGS, LONG NECKLACE, SHORT NECKLACE, similar, BRACELET, BRACELET, similar, RING, RING, RING

I found this cute top at Target! I had gone there looking for something else when this top yelled, “Hey, hey you, laddie!” (Bonus points if you can come up with the song reference.) I couldn’t resist. It has all of these lovely muted shades of teal and mauve and paisley and smocking. It’s adorable (and yes, ladies of a certain age can be adorable). The jeans are Wit and Wisdom from the NSale (I think this pair) and are really comfortable. I am considering these because I love the hem! The cardigan is also from the NSale three or four years ago. Every year, Nordstrom would have one of these in the sale. This year, I couldn’t even find the Leith brand (thus no link)! I did break my rule for all natural fibers with these sweaters, but they have worn well. There is some pilling, but I just pull them off! I saw these sneakers in pink about four years ago at VonMaur (if you don’t have one near you, you are missing out). They were in the clearance section, but I didn’t buy them. I kept stalking them everywhere and finally settled on this color (but I still want the pink). Mine are probably three years old now. They have fabulous arch support! The jewelry is all old and gifts from Nigel.

He’s not just a pretty photographer!

You see that wall there? Nigel did it! I’ve mentioned a time or two we live in a cookie cutter house in a cookie cutter neighborhood. I found this wall treatment on Pinterest, showed it to Nigel, and hey, presto! Nigel built it! He also built that cute little grey box on the table. I have lots of these kinds of boxes Nigel has made. They are all sizes and colors. I use them in different places throughout the year and throughout the house. Some don’t make it out of the decorating den (there’s an old reference), aka the basement, every year, but this one does.

Wrap it up, Marsha!

Nigel asked me what today’s topic was going to be. Honestly, I rarely know until I start typing! Today, I was putting on the red lipstick, and the topic hit me! I am not the first nor will I be the last blogger to write about fashion rules and whether or not to break them. I wrote about how these rules do or do not impact me. What about you? Is there a rule you break just because you feel better with the outcome (like me and my red lipstick)? Is there a rule you won’t break? What do you think of the more casual world in which we seem to be living? Did you figure out the song reference? Please leave me a comment or two. I’d love to have a conversation with you! If you like what you’ve read, please consider subscribing! Thanks, as always, for reading, commenting, and subscribing!

21 Comments

  1. Rules? Fashion and beauty rules? Hell no. I think everyone should wear what they feel most beautiful in. Because then a outfit makes you happy, and happiness makes everyone beautiful. And no red lips after a certain age, what a stupid thing right? I think that if you want to look your best there are some tips one could follow. But the best tip, I think, is to look very critical at yourself in the mirror. And adapt what you like least. But that goes for women who want to look their best. So many women, so many opinions.

    • You are so right, Nancy…so many women and so many opinions! I used to care so much more about their opinions. Now, I wear what speaks to me. I do pause every once in a while and think, “Should I really be wearing this?” The answer is almost always, “Absolutely!” Actually, there are usually two more syllables between the abso and the lutely! You always look stunning so you’re doing it right!

      Thanks, Nancy, for coming by!

  2. Always fun to read your posts1 I pretty much wear what I like to wear but I am learning that what looks great on someone else may not be my cup of tea. I do not wear makeup mostly because I never got in the habit of it and because I don’t make time for it but I love the colors you chose here!
    http://www.chezmireillefashiontravelmom.com

    • Thanks so much! You are far wiser than I am, Mireille! It took me so many years to figure out my shape plays heavily (pardon the pun) into what I can wear and look good! I love wearing makeup…eye shadow is my favorite by far. I wear no foundation unless it’s something truly extra special!

      Thanks for dropping by!

  3. You know I don’t think there should be rules! Wear what you like, when you want to wear it. (That goes for makeup and hairstyles too – but I know you get frustrated with me when I say that!) You will never convince me that white jeans aren’t good for year-round wear! I will wear neon and bright colors until the day I die, along with glittery eyeshadow, ripped jeans and lots and lots of sweatshirts. That’s another rule I guess I break – I wear fleece to work at least twice a week when it’s cold outside!

    These pictures are so beautiful! Nigel is really stepping up his game, and you’ve become a natural in front of the camera! You should frame the toothy smile picture 🙂

    • You know, I think Nigel is having a blast doing this. Yesterday, he was just clicking away. Sometimes, he even makes suggestions!

      We will be a pair when we’re older then if we’re both wearing glittery eyeshadow! You may have the neons though I may borrow some of the brights! You do love you a sweatshirt!

      And, I only ask for your advise when I want it!!!

  4. You look great in this outfit – that top is so pretty and the cardigan does pair nicely with it. Your makeup is lovely too! I don’t understand all the fashion rules. Being petite I’m not “supposed” to wear or love maxi lengths – but I adore them! It’s silly I stayed away from them so long because of some “rules”! I just wear what I love and I think everyone else should too. Even if that means I’m going out to an appointment with my son who is dressed in red shorts and a red tee because he “wanted to be a strawberry today”, haha! We all gotta wear what makes us happy!

    Hope that your week is going well 🙂

    • Oh, I love that he wanted to be a strawberry! I would imagine those will soon be able to be picked fresh around you! Honestly, that was the first time I’d seen we petite women weren’t supposed to wear maxi or midi lengths! They are my go-to’s, especially when it’s too hot to wear pants. What’s strange to me…and maybe, it’s just me…but, I don’t wear maxi dresses or skirts in the winter! Isn’t that weird? Maybe it’s because they might drag in the slush? I don’t know…just me with my own crazy rules!

      Thanks for the compliment about my makeup. I’m by no means an expert. I just put it on and hope for the best! As soon as I saw this top, I had to have it!! It truly was calling to me! I wasn’t sure if the cardigan worked, but the pictures look nice!

      Thanks so much, Mica, for coming by! Enjoy the rest of the week…oh, it’s Wednesday, right? Well, enjoy it anyway!

      • I know lots of people up in the northern hemisphere who don’t wear maxis in winter because of the snow/slush! I am lucky it never snows here in Brisbane, even on the coldest winter days, so it’s maxis year-round for me 🙂 It’s funny how we do tend to put our own rules on things though!

        • Have you always lived in/near Brisbane? So no snow ever? That would break my heart…I love snow!!! But, you are lucky to wear maxis all year long. I wear midis all year long!

          I hope your weekend is full of fun things!

  5. I’m definitely getting better at breaking those fashion rules. I think wearing colorful lipstick is something all older women should do because otherwise our lips fade away!!
    Nigel did great on that grey box…good job!!
    XOOX
    Jodie
    http://www.jtouchofstyle.com

    • I mean, I get the idea behind settling in those pesky lip wrinkles. But, my upper lip (which has never been full) is getting thinner. I need that color to give my face some oomph!

      Nigel is pretty handy with power tools…except when he takes a nick off his thumb…not once but twice! Two different projects! Luckily (or maybe it’s unluckily), his pain tolerance is high! I’m not good with pain, but I’ve learned how to take care of blood! We always say it’s not really a home improvement project unless he’s shed some blood!

      Thanks, Jodie, for coming by!

  6. Those rules are just crazy, aren’t they? I think you wear that lipstick so well! I remember Toughskins so well, I used to wear them. I remember having a red plaid pair – ha! Times have changed for sure and I am glad the fashion rules are becoming less popular. Who needs that kind of judgement?
    xo,
    Kellyann

    • Thanks, Kellyann! I used to live by that no white pants after Labor Day, too! But, to be perfectly honest, I haven’t really ever been big on white pants…I’m too messy!

      Judgement..nope…got no time for it!

      Thanks for coming by!

  7. Forget the rules I say! I just go with what works for me and my style Love this pretty blouse you are wearing!

    https://www.kathrineeldridge.com

    • It’s difficult to forget them when you don’t know them, right? I had no idea there was a rule about petite people wearing maxi or midi dresses/skirts! I think it’s probably someone in the retailing end of fashion thinking up ways to boost sales!

      Thanks! I do love this blouse. I’ve worn it so many times I have to stop to think, “Did I wear this to that last time?” I guess that’s a good thing!

      Thanks for coming by!

  8. thanks for sharing loved this!! your smile is beautiful!!

    homeatnine.co.uk

  9. Pingback:Something a little different… - Marsha in the Middle

  10. I think people should do what they want and what makes them feel good. I find not so much color eye shadow but glittery or sparkle eye shadow does not look as good as you age or it shows up lines more. But it is mind blowing we still have “rules” in 2021.

    Allie of
    http://www.allienyc.com

    • Glittery eye shadow has been off my radar for years…it’s just too much of a hassle! I like a good shimmer eyeshadow even though I know it can show more lines on my eyelids. I love color on my eyelids. I wear it for me!

      And, yes, those rules are a hoot, aren’t they? I think someone always needs a reason to find a rule!

      Thanks so much for stopping by!