Shhh…I’ve Got a Secret!

The names have been changed…

While this may seem like one of those click bait titles, it really isn’t. I’ve truly got a secret, and the names have been changed! Over 10 years ago, I received a message through Facebook from a woman I’d never heard of or met before.  She told me about a group of women who were interested in clothing, primarily Talbots, and asked if I like to be a member.  And, so began my virtual friendship with this amazing group of women.  We represented all different sizes, colors, shapes, and ages.  Some of us had children still at home; some were empty nesters; some had never had children.  But, we all loved clothes!

A little history…

This group was a secret group which meant only we knew who was in the group, and membership was by invitation only. If you left the group, there were some difficulties returning…that was a Facebook thing, not a group thing. We had a secret handshake, a motto, and all kinds of rituals…and, if you believe that, I have a couple of bridges for sale! I think, maybe, at some point, we did jokingly come up with a motto. We even had a “Rush Chairperson” who received lots of good natured ribbing about being a secret axe murderess! We stretched from coast to coast in the United States as well as Canada.

A peak inside…

As far as I can tell, the first official post of this group was on December 17, 2010!  I was not a member at that time but joined shortly after.  We eventually grew to around 25 members.  Some of the women only posted once or twice.  Our conversations usually began with mentions of certain items of clothing.  In time, we had our own dictionary.  Honest!  We had so many different terms for things, we had to create a document to keep them straight!  There were names for specific items of clothing…like the Milk Maid skirt, the Cinderella skirt, and the Arm Chair skirt!  And, then there were the acronyms!  We had several.  One of my favorites was SORRRY which stood for See, Order, Receive, Return, Regret, Yearn.  And, then there was the AC…the Apology Code…which was used multiple times by all of us.  Talbots had had a major glitch on either Black Friday or Cyber Monday so they issued an AC which was good for 40% off everything (and the expiration date was close to 3 months into the next year)!  One of our members even introduced us to the “commodel”!  To commodel is to model something in the commode!  Her workplace had a wonderful long mirror in front of which she would model something new, ask our opinion, or just give us a giggle! 

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Beginnings…

In the beginning, our comments focused mainly on shopping Talbots…which items we liked, recommended, and disliked.  We enabled each other to purchase items, gave our opinions on things happening on the MP (Main Page), and alerted all to sales.  There was even a Wizard on the MP!  Ladies would ask her/him/them to find a specific item, explain a policy, or answer any number of questions.  One lady wanted her shoes (which had been stolen or broken in Europe) to be remade for her!  Within a short amount of time, we started chatting about our personal lives…to a degree.  None of us lived close to each other so we only knew one another via Facebook.  We hesitated to get too personal…at first. 

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During this time, Nigel was traveling quite a bit for work, and I would spend time (after grading papers and lesson planning) chatting with my new friends.  Some nights, these chats would last for hours.  I remember one particular thread running to over 300 comments!  I kept getting warnings from Facebook I might be annoying the recipient of my comments and would have to pause in my typing.  As you can probably tell, while we didn’t totally abandon shopping, we began to create this very unique friendship. 

Virtually, then IRL…

Over the years, some of us actually met face to face!  One friend and I arranged to meet in London.  She is from Victoria, British Columbia!  One summer weekend, four of us gathered close to Cleveland to eat, laugh, and shop!  More than a couple encountered each other in Vancouver as well!  My “pledge mom” and I have met twice when her daughter was in school near me.  We meant to go on a cultural excursion but managed to end up at the mall!

With each week that went by, the relationship between the majority of us (as I said there were a handful of ladies who only posted once or twice) grew closer and closer.  And, as happens, disagreements occurred.  Picture 25 sisters sitting around having a good gossip.  Sooner or later, someone’s feeling would get hurt; comments would be made; and someone would threaten to leave the group.  As I said earlier, if you left the group, it was extremely difficult to get back in (a Facebook thing, not us).  Ultimately, a handful of women did leave over one thing or another. 

In due course, a couple of the “founders” left because the group had served its purpose for them.  One or two left because they didn’t like the drama that frequently occurred on the page.  Some left because they felt out of place.  The group dwindled to less than 15 women.  But, we continued to talk almost every day.  Sometimes, it was just a check in.  Other times, it was a long and winding chat.   As our numbers diminished, the conversations grew less spontaneous.  The spark seemed to have disappeared.  More and more members left the group until the remainder stands at seven.  The last comment was written in 2017.  This wonderful, dynamic, funny group became a sad echo of what it once had been. 

Endings…

Over the years, we experienced so many things.  We delighted in engagement announcements (and gave our opinions on MOG & MOB clothing). We cried together at cancer diagnoses.  We reveled in the accomplishments of our children. We consoled each other when divorces loomed. We celebrated the births of grandchildren. We mourned when loved ones passed on.  We hurrahed at new jobs, new homes, and new clothes.  We wept at losses of any and every kind. We rejoiced at cures.  And…at the end of the day…we were sisters.

The Lewk

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By all rights, I should be wearing all Talbots. But, I am not finding clothing that sparks joy in me right now at Talbots. This dress (on major sale) is from April Cornell, sparks joy, and features a drawstring back tie. I like the length on this dress and won’t be hemming it. I love it when retailers name items. This is the Floral Script dress; those white squiggles are meant to be script (but I can’t read it). I think I look a bit like a Russian grandma or one of those nesting dolls! I chose to go with the black combat boots which are on sale right now. I like how they take the inherently feminine dress in an unexpected direction. Jodie recently wrote about wearing pearls and how we shouldn’t save them for special occasions. I commented I had only one strand of pearls. I had forgotten about this necklace and bracelet. They aren’t exactly a strand of pearls, but they do feature pearls. The toggles have either garnets or rubies on the ends. I think I may have gotten them at Macy’s. The earrings are from eBay, and the silver cuff is Premier Designs (I think). The long wrap bracelet is from Stella & Dot.

Wrap it up, Marsha!

I am still in touch with several of the women from my secret group. We still talk fashion. More often, we are confiding in each other, seeking solace, and just catching up on life. If someone had told me, prior to December 2010, I would have a group of close friends I’d never met, I would have thought them a little bonkers. But, I’m so glad I didn’t think Madame Rush Chairperson wasn’t an axe murderess (though that’s yet to be completely confirmed) and took a chance on virtual friendships. How about you? Have you “met” a friend virtually and never met them in person? Do you find it easier to maintain conversations knowing you’re not face to face? Do you find it ironic I’m asking you these questions and then asking you to comment? I’m sort of chuckling to myself as I’m writing this! But, please do leave me a comment about virtual friendships, virtual relationships, or anything at all! I will respond as soon as I can!

Where I frequently link up:

Linking up with Nancy’s Fashion Style, My Bijou LIfe, Fine-Whatever, Is This Mutton, Shelbee on the Edge, Chez Mireile, The Grey Brunette, and Away from the Blue. Please check out these blogs if you haven’t already done so!

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