Thinking Thursday

How does your past define you?

Have you ever regretted a decision you’ve made?  I don’t mean keeping a pair of shoes you know you don’t need.  I mean a life altering decision that informs the rest of your life.  Have you made one of those decisions?  And, then regretted it?  In my first post (missed it? You can find it here https://marshainthemiddle.com/when-a-nudge-becomes-a-shove/), I mentioned I was a retired teacher.  I retired quite early for many reasons with the strongest being a toxic (to me) environment.  Since then, I have mourned the loss of that life almost every day.  Most nights I dream about my classroom which no longer even exists as the building was replaced last year. 

So, now I find myself a retired person, a Senior Citizen even! But, what I am struggling with is who am I? Am I still an educator? My husband will say I definitely am as I’m constantly correcting him! Luckily, my grandkids are young enough I can still help them with any homework questions they might have. All of this is wonderful, it really is. But, is there more?

Your Styled Story…

Several weeks ago, I began weekly sessions with Deborah Stinedurf of https://yourstyledstory.com/categories/. Debbie is also a retired educator and has recently completed certification to become a life coach. Those weeks of working with Debbie started me on the path to this blog. But, even before working with Debbie, she began changing my life. In this post, https://yourstyledstory.com/conversations-with-your-past-self-what-could-you-learn/, Debbie challenged me (and her other readers) to look back to my past and have a conversation with a younger me. Talk about blowing my mind! I’ve written on Facebook about the things I’d tell my younger self, but I’d never even considered what my younger self might tell me now. For almost two months, I’ve been reflecting on this idea. I’ve been trying to figure out what happened to me in my past…what would 16 year old Marsha tell 63 year old Marsha to help her understand choices she’s made and paths she’s taken. Have I reached some huge revelation? Not yet, I’m still listening. I’ll let you know when I figure it out. If you’re struggling with making the pieces of your life fit into the puzzle, check out Debbie’s page. Contact her for more information about her services as a life coach. I’m convinced you will find your completed puzzle is glorious and colorful!

What I’ve been thinking about…

I don’t know about you, but I am my own worst critic. When I was that 16 year old girl, I told myself I didn’t fit in with other people. I was watching my dad die and facing adulthood way too soon. I also told myself my mom didn’t like me and that was fine because I didn’t like her much either. I told myself I didn’t need to go to college (man, oh man, how I wish I hadn’t listened to me on that one). I told myself I loved the boy/man I was dating at the time (now, that is one decision I don’t regret). And, the very worse thing I told my 16 year old self was I wasn’t thin enough. That began the cliched yoyo dieting that continues to this day. So, I’ve been thinking about a lot lately.

Wrap it up, Marsha!

As you can see from the photos, I did keep one pair of jeans from the NSale. I bet you’re thinking, “Those aren’t a whole heck of a lot different from the ones you didn’t like.” And, looking at the photos, I’d almost agree with you. They are straight leg jeans just like the pair I returned. But, these are different. They feel better and I like the raw edge. For those of us who are vertically challenged, those raw hems are wonderful! We don’t have to worry about paying to get that original hem. We can just lop off the offending length! I’m wearing a pair of Eileen Fisher espadrilles. Ladies, if you have picky feet, these are the shoes for you! They are so comfortable. I wore them for hours right out of the box! And, one last thing before I go…that title “Thinking Thursday”? When I was teaching, we were supposed to come up with a cutesy name for each day. Thursday was kinda tough so it was usually Thinking Thursday which fit for this particular blog post!

Have you ever made a decision you regretted? Want to share? I’d love to talk with you about it, but I know these things can get deep. Send me an email if you’d like. I promise I’ll respond! What does your younger self say to you now? Have you thought about asking her or him? Please let me know if you like this post and want more of these wordy kinds of posts. And, if you have a friend or two who might enjoy my blog, please feel free to share my page with them! Have a fabulous rest of the week!

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