Thinning Hair and What to Do?

Smiling woman with purple hair and glasses standing at a front door, wearing a blue striped dress and pink sandals beside a brick wall.

I was a teenager at the perfect time! Why, you ask? It was the time when straight hair, parted down the center was in, baby! My hair has always been stick straight and baby fine. I am not going to bless you with school photos showing you the many iterations of bad haircuts and even worse smiles. Just take my word for it that pixie hair cuts just weren’t for me. My mom? She was not a hairstylist, try as she might. She would trim my bangs, and they would be crooked (in her eyes, at least). So, another snip across the forehead. This continued until my bangs (or fringe for those of you in the UK) were just about non-existent.

Being a teenager…

As I got into what is now considered middle school, I began growing my hair out. I guess my mom was OK with that because she figured I was old enough to take care of it. I remember washing my hair in the bathroom sink. That was a feat for a couple of reasons. One was the sink wasn’t all that deep; the second was being just a titch claustrophobic. As I’ve gotten older, this has gotten stronger. There is no way I would be able to wash my hair in the bathroom sink. But, I washed my hair almost every night because I had oily hair (or so I was told). Now, remember, this was before blow dryers could be found in every home. I would do one of three things: 1) go to bed with it wet; 2) brush it over the vent if the furnace was on; and 3) use the hose end of the hair dryer we did have and brush until it was dry. If I went to bed with it wet, it was a funky mess so I rarely did that. I didn’t wash it in the morning because we had to be heading to the bus stop around 7:15 or so.

A little more…

Through most of my high school years, I wore my hair long and parted in the middle, still with no bangs. At some point, I did have bangs cut. I’m not sure if I did it, or if I went to a salon. But, I do know I had bangs by 1974 when my dad died. My senior portrait is quite lovely (if I do say so myself). What you don’t see is that all my hair is gathered at the front! That was all my hair. I never ever had those luscious thick locks so many of my friends had. All was well, though, because really big hair was not even on the horizon at this point. Even my wedding photos are quite nice as my veil covered the back where no hair was hanging down my back! I just don’t have that much hair. Well, that’s not quite true. For decades, my youngest sister was my hairstylist (hahaha…she knew how to cut hair one way…old lady style). She told me I actually had a lot of hair, but it was just very thin and fine. Yay, me!

Marriage…

Throughout the first years of marriage, my hair was long. But, when I was working at the insurance company, one of the women got her hair cut and permed. She looked fabulous. Remember Dorothy Hamill’s cute ‘do? This woman had something similar only curly! She really looked amazing. I quick as I could made an appointment with her stylist (my sister was still in high school). One Saturday, I spent hours in this guy’s chair as he wrapped those miserable perm rods around my hair. When he was done, I could have cried. In fact, I think I did cry all the way home, but you don’t do that to the person who just did your hair for…ready for it…$100! That sounds reasonable today, but this was probably 1978 or 1979! That was almost a week’s wages for me! And, it was awful. The curls were tight; my hair was chin length (not a good look for me); and I was devastated. I don’t have a single photo of that hair. As soon as I got home, I washed it and washed it. I did know you’re not supposed to do that with a fresh perm. I figured this would release the curls a bit. And, it did, but I was still a frightful mess. I’d gone from long, long straight hair to this Bozo the Clown ‘do. Thank goodness I didn’t have him color it! Luckily, Nigel could tell how upset I was and held his tongue!

The next phase…

Eventually, that awful perm grew out, and it would be years before I had another one. Do you remember the Vidal Sassoon commercials when the woman would have this beautiful shoulder length bob and would twirl her hair from side to side? Sometime after my kids were born, I had my hair cut like that. I loved it! It was easy to wear and looked good no matter the occasion. That 80s hair hadn’t quite arrived yet. Remember, though, I mentioned my little sister became a hairstylist (she corrected us quite harshly when we said beautician)? She talked me into a perm. This was right around the time when it was fashionable to not really do anything with your permed curls. You just washed them, scrunched them up a bit, and let them go. This actually worked out well as I had three little ones and a husband in night school. The biggest problem was…again that fine thin hair. The marks from the parting for the placement of the perm rods lasted for at least 2-3 weeks. I would like my perm for about two weeks out of the couple of months between perms. I wore my hair permed for several years after that. That’s when the big hair came in, and I embraced it. The other side of having permed hair was that my hair looked fuller and more lush. Eventually, I grew bored with the perms and wanted a new look. Actually, I went back to an old look…the shoulder length bob. I wore my hair like that for several years. I did get a perm or two during my teaching years, but, for the most part, it was a bob. That is, until I finally convinced my sister to cut it short. She didn’t think that was a good idea. She thought my hair would just fall flat and lay there like limp spaghetti. Both she and I were completely surprised at how good my hair looked once we cut it short. And, I wore it that way, sometimes a little longer, sometimes a little shorter for years.

Moving…

When we moved 2.5 hours south of home, I didn’t immediately find a new stylist. I drove those five hours (total) to have my sister cut and color my hair. By that time, she was giving me a little angel’s kiss in the front to add some interest. Y’all know what an angel’s kiss is, right? It’s a bit of white hair right at the front. Most people get theirs naturally; I got mine out of a bottle! But, needing to color my hair every six weeks or so and having to travel five hours just wasn’t cutting it for me. I decided to find a new stylist…and, I did! She lived right down the street from me! She is one of those really cool people who just intimidate the crap out of me. Before appointments, I try to come up with cool things to say to her. I fail miserably! Anyway, she was OK with coloring my hair, but when I mentioned I wanted to try going grey, she was all for giving it a try. She said, “If you don’t like it, we can always go back to dyeing it.” I never went back! She insists my hair isn’t any thinner than it was. Well, I’m not going to give away the story…you need to read the next section!

Thinning…

I’ve always been cognizant of how thin my hair is. But, when you go grey and have thin hair, your scalp tends to peek through much more easily. My mom’s youngest sister was bald on top with a fringe (she looked like a monk) by the time she died. I have a cousin on my dad’s side who has just the sparsest of hair all over. So, I kinda knew thinning hair was in my future. I had talked to my stylist about this, but she didn’t think my hair was any thinner than it had ever been. I had a dermatologist appointment and spoke with her about how I felt it was really thinning, and my hairline was receding. To be fair, I have a very high forehead anyway, but it seemed like there was a whole lot more of it! So, this past spring, she prescribed Minoxidil for me. I take a very low dose. She also told me to expect a little bit of shedding. Well, y’all, I just about passed out a week or so after starting! I had a huge gob of hair in my hair brush after my shower. I also had another big gob after drying it. That continued for about two weeks. The shedding has definitely slowed down, but my derm also told me not to expect to see big results until at least six months in. I have tried different serums and had some baby hairs, but nothing that I could definitively say increased my hair density. The dermatologist office also had a flyer for a red light cap that guarantees hair growth. And, the flyer came with a $500 off coupon so that tells you something, right? I’m still thinking about getting one. There’s also microneedling for the scalp. I may even give that a try.

Helper hair…

As y’all know I have a hair topper and wear it more and more. I love the way it looks. One of the docents told me she loved my hair. I said, “Thanks! I bought it!” I’m not going to try to pass it off as mine (other than I definitely own it). I also have been contacted by two wig companies and am anxiously awaiting those. I do feel a bit of a cheat though as so many of you remark on my hair. I look back at some of my photos and can see a real difference between then and now. I have a hair appointment in a week or so, and I have a feeling she’s going to tell me I need a really good (read that as short) hair cut! I would prefer not to do that as chin length hair is not my friend.

Smiling older woman with gray hair and glasses standing on a porch, wearing a white striped top, a black-and-white polka dot wide-leg skirt, and a pendant necklace.

The outfit…

As you can probably tell, these photos were taken a while ago when my hair was all kinds of colors. I thought this dress was the perfect match for the hair! This is the Violet dress by Gudrun Sjödén. I added a violet slip for this time, but I could probably have chosen different colors. I can’t remember if I had tried my green one. Here’s the one thing about Gudrun Sjödén that I kinda dislike. They change colors just enough that colors are off for clothes from different seasons. Does that make sense? Now, if the items aren’t going to be close, then I’m not worried. But, if there’s a really noticeable disparity, I will find something else. When you check out the Lewk, you’ll see I even questioned if the pink sandals were right. One more time, I’m going to remind you now is the time to try Gudrun Sjödén if you’re at all interested. The deals are real, but that sale will be ending soon. I don’t know why they don’t keep a sale tab up, but they usually will remove it. The new season is due next week (I only know because I got a catalog) so I’m betting the sale will come down around then. Just sayin, my friends, just sayin!

Woman with purple hair wearing a blue striped dress, standing at a door on a brick porch, smiling at the camera.

The Lewk!

This pretty dress has so many colors in it. I wasn’t quite sure what to wear so I went with my pink Shay sandals from Miz Mooz. I have them in black as well as sage. I bought the necklace and earrings at…you guessed it! The art museum! I think they are from the French Bouquet collection by Michael Michaud. I also added an old bracelet from Brighton. There’s a bit of a disconnect between the delicate necklace and earrings and the bracelet, right? The former are so delicate, and the latter is a bit chunky. But, it’s not like I wear them close together.

Wrap it up, Marsha!

I come across as so vain, don’t I? I absolutely loved my hair when I went grey and have so much fun coloring it with the fashion colors. When Nigel tells me he doesn’t really like that, I remind him it’s my hair plus it has the bonus of disguising my scalp for a bit. One thing I’ve wondered, and I hope some of you will let me know. I don’t get any commissions from items I link to (unless they’re italicized or you use one of my affiliate links). I provide those links in case you want to order the same. Should I continue to do so, or are y’all OK if I don’t do that in the future? So, can we talk? What was the “in” hairstyle when you were growing up? Did you have a time period when you wore your hair in something you look back and wonder WTF? Do you have your own hair thinning story? Please leave me a comment or two, and we can talk. I promise to respond as quickly as I can.

Thank you!

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32 Comments

  1. I hear you! Hair and how it makes us feel is so important. I do like your hair topper.

  2. Like Rosie above, I hear you! But I don’t have the same problem as I have very thick hair and it’s still thick. That’s all down to my mother and her Scottish genes. I had red hair and red hairs are the thickest strongest hairs you can get. So lucky me. BUT I am never ever satisfied with my hair style, so I’d say that’s a problem I’ve inflicted upon myself! Currently growing my hair after cutting far too short in the winter, it’s still not right. Would like to grow it long enough to put it up when there is a heatwave as nothing worse than a lot of hair around one’s neck.

    I do think the States somehow has lovely wigs and toppers that are far better than anything sold in the UK as you can instantly tell when someone is wearing a wig here because it looks so artificial. Your hair is always lovely and I can barely tell when you have the topper on. I also like it when you colour it. Also I adore that black spotted skirt.

  3. I too have very fine hair and lots of it but I keep it permed for volume and fullness or else it would pretty much be flat to my head. I think I began perming my hair in the 80’s with a lot of home perms and while I definitely rely on the salon for that now I just don’t like my hair straight. Though I do try a new style and to go straight every couple of years… I almost always end up right back with what I have now.

  4. Oh boy, Marsha! Did you post bring back LOTS of memories of my own fine thin hair struggles! The junior high school photos (braces included) are something (!!!) and I, too, have my own evolution of photos through my Dorothy Hamill and perm eras! My hairstylist – who’s been with me through it all the past 30 years – just moved to California so I had my first appointment with a new stylist earlier this month. Thankfully, my long-time person set me up with this person and she did a great job! Definitely a blessing! Thanks for the trip down memory lane! P.S. I love your hair! It fits you perfectly!

  5. Except for two perms and some color over the years I have been very boring with my hair. I let it grow since I was 7, that’s it. I had a side part until I was about 13, then a middle part, first without, then with bangs, and the last two years or so I have been growing those out. My hair is down to my butt and I don’t do anything with it. Thanks to my meds it has become thicker and for some reason some of the strands suddenly turned wavy, but not all of them 😂
    Your topper looks really good, but I also like how you play with color!

  6. I am still haunted by the haircut and perm I got in junior high that made me feel like Orphan Annie’s blonde cousin. One perm was enough for this girl!

  7. Oh what fab piccys Marsha, you look so young there! Lovely to see you wedding photos too. Nice never had thick hair but it’s even thinner now. Maybe I need extra hair. Great post too. Jacqui xx

    • Thank you, Jacqui! I am getting better at remembering to take one each day rather than having to get dressed again later! I think we have menopause to thank for the thinner hair! It’s all so unfair, right?

  8. jodie filogomo

    Hair is such an amazing topic because it affects us so much, yet in reality, it’s quite temporary/changeable.
    The stories we have are always so interesting, and I love that you are embracing wigs and such. Why not??
    XOXO
    Jodie

    • Thanks, Jodie! You’re right that it’s temporary and changeable, but it’s also one of the first things people notice about you. And, I’ve always struggled with mine. For a few years, right after going grey, I absolutely loved it! But, then the receding became more and more apparent. I’m hoping the minoxidil helps. I just got one wig today and need to figure out how to restyle it and cut the lace and so many other things…I’ll be in contact with Kellyann, that’s for sure!

  9. Kellyann C Rohr

    That hair topper is fabulous!! I love it on you!
    xo,
    Kellyann

    • Thanks, Kellyann! I just got my first wig, so I may be emailing you for tips on what to do with my bio hair and anything else you care to share!

  10. That would absolutely be a nightmare to me. I’ve got very thick and a lot of hair. And I love my hair long. I know that it will all change when I have had my transplant, because of the medication. I think that if toppers or wigs makes you feel better, then just use then on a daily base. That polka dot skirt and striped tee looks amazing!

    • Thanks, Nancy! The only thing that worries me about wearing the hair pieces every day is will it damage my real hair. You have amazing hair, and I really hope the medications don’t do anything to it. I’ll keep my fingers crossed!

  11. Thank you for sharing your hair journey! I permed my hair for years in the 80’s. I wanted to be like Whitney Houston with all those curls. Love this colorful look and your helper hair is fabulous!

    https://www.kathrineeldridge,com

  12. I’ve always had fine straight hair that just hangs limp and wanted a perm so badly when I was going into high school. Ugh! I had the same experience and it was awful. My curls were so tight and there was no way to undo it. My parents wouldn’t pay to have it relaxed so I had to save up months to purchase a drugstore brand. I love your hair topper! And so fun to see your wedding pics!

    Jill – Doused in Pink

    • Thanks, Jill! It must just be our luck with the fine hair to have rotten perms! I really think my topper was the hair I should have always had! I’m glad you liked seeing those 50 year old photos!

  13. My hair fled the scene when I became a widow. Handfulls of it in the shower drain. And I could see scalp. It had been getting thinner and whiter (which I love) and I finally when to see a dermatologist who put me on oral Minoxidil. Its still not the lush and lovely hair of my youth, but it is shiny and pretty and filling in fairly nicely. It did take several months, though. I would love to add a few streaks of pink or purple – so pretty!

    • I’m so sorry, Gina! You have been through it with your husband’s death. I’m so glad to hear you’re having success with minoxidil. I hope I do, too. Oh, go for the streaks! They are so much fun and easy when your hair is white or silver…no bleaching involved!

  14. Ooh, I love this outfit, Marsha! The colors are so beautiful! I really enjoyed reading about your hair journey. I have had a love-hate relationship with my hair forever. Actually, not forever. I’m very pleased with it now. I always wanted long hair but as a competitive swimmer in my youth I couldn’t stand the feeling of wet hair on my shoulders. So I would grow it long, then immediately cut it short. And that cycle continued until about 10 years ago when I finally decided to grow it out and leave it! I also have very thin hair, but I have a lot of it. And it’s poker straight. I remember my mom giving me perms in the 1980s. She would cry every time because the perms never stuck. My hair came out poker straight! Still this to day, if I curl my hair, the curls last about 30 minutes before they just fall right out and I’m back to straight hair. I guess God intended my hair to be straight so there you have it! LOL I stopped dying it in 2020 when the salons all closed down. I used to dye it myself between salon visit but then it got too long to manage on my own. So I stopped dying it and I basically stopped cutting it as well except for the one annual trim that my husband does for me. I love how you are embracing your hair and your hair helpers! How fun to have some wig collaborations, too. I look forward to seeing all of your new hairstyles!

    Shelbee

    • Thanks, Shelbee! I remember seeing the photos of your shaved head when you were competing. My grandson and his teammates have a ritual for semi-state or regionals or something. They bleach it first. Then, the night before, they have it shaved off by someone else. You would not believe some of the looks these kids end up with! I love your long, long hair! I can’t believe it never held a perm. Well, mine doesn’t really hold a curl very well. I bought one of those fancy Dyson things…didn’t do a thing. Luckily, I’d bought it at Nordstrom so I was able to return it with no hassle. I really love the natural way you wear your hair and can’t believe Jeff cuts it (he does a good job). Mike would be like my mom…take a little off here, then have to take more off because there was an oopsie! I’d much rather have my own bio hair, but if wigs are in my future then I’m happy to receive some gratis!

  15. I desperately wanted a perm as a child. I was about 10. I have no idea what got the idea into my head. My mom didn’t want to do it. Our hairdresser didn’t want to let me do it. In the end, they both let me. Marsha, I looked like a crazy bobblehead! Wahahaha! It was ridiculous. I think I burned all of those photos. So far I still have a lot of hair. We will see how it goes. I like your hair topper!

    • I don’t think I had a perm until that guy gave me one. I always had a Pixie haircut until junior high when I grew it out and wore it long and straight. Then, before my sister became a hairstylist (NOT a beautician), I can remember my older sister and I giving each other perms. What a mistake that was. Mine was burned crispy! No photos exist of that, either! Be glad you have so much hair. I have just always had this limp mess that I use oodles of hairspray and other product on!

  16. Hi, Marsha – I, too, have always had fine hair but a lot of it. My sister offered to give me a perm for my wedding and my hair surprised us by curling up like crazy all over. I love your topper and would like to hear where you got it, how you chose it and how you fasten it on. Thanks! – Angie, http://www.yourtrueselfblog.com

    • Thanks, Angie! The perms my sister gave me were definitely better than the one I got from that man. Oh, I was just devastated especially after paying out that kind of money. I got it from Uniwigs after seeing a beautiful content creator on Instagram wearing one. I messaged her, and hers wasn’t from Uniwigs. She pointed me to a different creator who had a code for a discount. Mine is the Sylvia Grey Mono-Top Human Hair topper (https://www.uniwigs.com/hair-pieces/46442-7-x-8sylvia-grey-mono-top-human-hair-topper-with-pre-cut-layers.html) I then contacted Uniwigs for help in choosing one. I knew I wanted a human hair topper because I wanted a good one as a start. This was the only one they had. I’ve since discovered it’s very difficult to find grey/silver toppers or even wigs. It fastens on with those bendy clips. It also has a halo wire (no idea how to use it, but I need to find out). I do feel self-conscious in it because I’m afraid it will move because with the fine hair, even those clips (there are four), it still moves just a bit, especially when it’s windy, or I’m changing clothes. It’s also rather hot because there is a lot of hair! I was very pleasantly surprised at just how much hair was there. I pull out sections of my own so that it also looks more natural. I hope that helps.

  17. Your hair journey was such a fun read! I laughed at the stories about your mom trimming your bangs and the disastrous perm (I think so many of us have at least one hairstyle we’d rather forget!). I also really appreciate you being so open about thinning hair and sharing what you’ve been trying. It’s something so many women experience but don’t always talk about. And that Gudrun Sjödén dress is gorgeous on you—I love how you pulled out the colors with the pink sandals. Thanks for sharing your story!

    • Thank you, Laura! Oh, the bangs were bad because she’d just keep snipping! That perm I got and paid so much money (then) for really did make me cry. I am just sharing so others who try minoxidil and lose their hair don’t think it’s abnormal. Even though I knew there would be some shedding, I wasn’t prepared for how much! I absolutely love this dress because of all the beautiful colors!

  18. Marsha, you do not come across as vain in the slightest!! You just want to look your best and there’s nothing wrong with that at all! And you look fabulous—in my opinion, you ALWAYS look fabulous! I just love your style, hair and outfits! This dress with the skirt underneath is utter perfection, I adore the colours! And that photo of you with the striped tee and polka dot skirt is simply beautiful!
    Your wedding photos!!!! OMG They’re freaking FABULOUS! You looked so beautiful!!
    Big hugs
    Suzy xx

    • Thank you, my friend! You are too sweet! I really love this dress because of the colors, and when my hair was those colors I just had to take photos! Unfortunately, my wedding album was drowned in our basement a year or so after we moved in. We’d gone on vacation, and it never rains a lot in July. Well, that summer it did. Mike tried to salvage some photos and kept the album in the garage for years. This last move, I finally threw it away because it was green with mold…not a good thing. I do have the mini albums my mom and his mom got so I have a few photos but not the really good ones. I just loved my dress!

  19. Hi! your hair looks absolutely beautiful! I love the color and loves how it vibes with your dress. My natural hair has always been thin also, so I just work extensions and wigs for different looks lol! Have a blessed Friday1

    • Thank you so much, Tina! My stylist does this a few times a year. Unfortunately, it only lasts a few weeks. I haven’t ever tried extensions, but I’ve gotten a topper and a wig so we shall see! I hope your weekend has been wonderful!

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